She ended up coming over last night. We went to the store and picked some things up. Then she hung out for a little bit over here. We listened to music and played with the kids, I made her a CD of some songs she wanted. But the whole time she was still distant and still trying to block me out. I must admit it felt like she was a little more open than she was before, but not much. Then again that could just be my own wishful thinking.
I am starting to wonder if this is even worth it anymore. How much more of this up and down can I take? Right now my ultimate ending would be for her to come back and we could all be a family again, but I feel alot more of myself questioning could that even be possible, and starting to wonder if I would even want to risk having to go thru this all over again.
A part of me thinks it might be best just to go completely dark with her, if she wants me back she'll come back, if she dont then I'll be over her quicker. Then again what feels natural to me is to be her best friend and hope for the best. She has afterall filed for a divorce, going to court, ect. I just am so torn between my emotions right now I dont know what to do. I am really starting to question my own sanity on why I keep myself open to this hurt.
