Quick update - the past few weeks have been FAB!!!! I feel "there" right now. I feel comfortable enough to voice my feelings, I have a little DB voice in my head which keeps me on the straight and narrow, I've learnt to back off sometimes and apologise when I'm wrong.
H's LD is on the way out, which is great! I'm getting flowers, ILY's, friendship, everything I could want. I've even felt brave enough to bring up moving to the coast. H's job may be relocating, there's a chance we can move to Brighton. I'm really up for it, my family live nearby (which can be a good or bad thing, ha ha!!) and it's a more relaxed way of life. Basically, I'd like to go cos I'll be 37 in December and where we live now I feel like I'm wasting away. Woo HOO!!! MLC for me - ha ha!!!
The good thing I've noticed is that when I get an idea I will throw myself into it 110%, which is good cos it gets things moving. H is more cautious, which is good as it means things get done properly and we can be sure it's the right thing. My way is bad cos I can bulldoze people, H's way is bad cos if left to his own devices, nothing would ever get done. What I'm saying is I've noticed the good and the bad in both of us and how well we compliment each other - H reigns me in, I give H the push to get going he sometimes needs. The result is well balanced.
Ok - gotta go, h back and we're off to get tiddled!!! Love and sloppy kisses to all. M-WAH!!! M-WAH!! xxxxx
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
Awesome, Jen! I love that you see that you & H's strengths also have corresponding weaknesses. It's a good reminder for me!
Have fun getting tiddled...I got tiddled last night and I'm paying for it today!
Glad things are working out for you!!!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
The good thing I've noticed is that when I get an idea I will throw myself into it 110%, which is good cos it gets things moving. H is more cautious, which is good as it means things get done properly and we can be sure it's the right thing. My way is bad cos I can bulldoze people, H's way is bad cos if left to his own devices, nothing would ever get done. What I'm saying is I've noticed the good and the bad in both of us and how well we compliment each other - H reigns me in, I give H the push to get going he sometimes needs. The result is well balanced.
That is so true of many here, only most (like me) find it out too late. The "dominate" partner takes control to get things done but then is considered *controlling* by the other partner.
You have found balance and that is wonderful. Wonderful, but SO SO difficult to maintain b/c of our very nature to keep things moving.
Give when you can but set boundaries. Not many boundaries - life is too short to sweat the small stuff. Let your H be who he is and I think you both will do well. Continue to share your feelings - discussing feelings is the best way to avoid the "bulldozing".
Great advice from Jeff. You need to go read his post...he is being mean to himself. Please tell him to love and be kind to himself.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Awesome Jen! You sound wonderful hun. YAY Jen. I too like Jeff's advice. Be careful...just because you see and can appreciate the balance doesn't mean H does. So he could see it as being pushed if not done correctly....but I am sure you will.
Would you go check on BiscuitMom in newcomers? Wallowing wallower...she needs some help.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
