So its been a while since I posted. Not too much has changed in my situation. Some tension in my home life has been defused, but I think its only because I have decided to move out and get my own place.

Its been a really difficult decision. But i think the best one for me and my kids. I have been trying to keep busy, and getting a new place will take up a lot of time with getting furniture, moving, etc. I still tear up when i think of how we're going to tell my little girls.

My wife seems more infatuated with this guy then ever. However we have been having some good time together recently. I'm confused by it some, and i'm not sure if she now feels like i'm a partner in the seperation and feels less guilty about it, or if she is just relieved that something is moving forward in the direction she wants. I get mixed signals. The other night i was in my room working on my computer, and she came down and sat on the floor and worked as well, at first she was a little grumpy, but i cut through that with some humor, and then for the next 2 hours we talked, listened to music and joked while getting some work done.

I read David Cunninghams ebook, and it really opened my eyes, more so than David Deidas books as it is written in a no-nonsense direct manner dealing with couples exclusively.

I think the biggest thing to increase the attraction for me in her eyes (if its not too late) is Independence. Once we got married, and had kids I basically dropped all my independent activities (other than work). I thought thats what a good father does, he is always with his family. NO. I was wrong, all that made me was a boring unattractive man and father.

Sure I made other major mistakes in my marriage, and my communication skills - and being able to hear what she was really trying to say were piss poor, but i feel good about how i have grown in those areas now. But i still don't see the attraction for me in her eyes. Its going to be a long hard road to get there i feel.

I have been a wimp in my marriage, and now i understand even more why GAL, and Detaching are so important. Especially for a man to do with a WAW.

I'm flying to San Fran early next month for 5 days to hang out with some friends that are also headed there for the MLB Allstar games. I'm looking forward to it, and feel this is a good GAL move for me as i won't have much time to feel bad about the problems at home.

I'm going to continue to work on my marriage, and i am definately working on being an Attractive superior man, but i have to let her figure things out on her own.