While its absolutely NOT unreasonable for a man to want to ML 2 or 3 times a week it is easy to see why his behaviour is causing you to lose the desire to participate.
Thank you for that sentence. Let me take this opportunity to make it perfectly clear that I agree 100 percent with BOTH parts of that statement. And I absolutely agree that tired's husband needs to change his behavior every bit as much as she does. They BOTH are at fault here...but I will dare say it is EQUALLY, despite the seeming tendency of some people to be much more sympathetic to her than to him. They BOTH need strong words, they BOTH need a kick in the you-know-where, and if it were tired's husband here I'd have some equally harsh words for him. And deep down I don't think it would really take much to get some communication going, for them to settle this issue between the two of them - after all they have been married for this long already and that doesn't just happen without a lot of strength in the rest of the relationship. But since it's tired who asked for advice here, and not her husband, then it is my advice I'm giving her. Since SHE rather than HE has taken the time to ask for advice on how to make things better, then SHE might as well be the one to take the next step. He's got to get his sex to feel better about doing the things he should be doing; SHE's got to get his help around the house in order to feel more like having sex. If both keep waiting until the other cooperates before taking that first step towards changing the negative cycle to a positive one, they're going to go through the rest of their lives waiting.
And about cows and hamburgers (other post) - yes, any informed would-be husband should and must know up front the expenses of feeding and caring for the "cow." And expect that. But the point is he also has the right to expect the milk in return. There are benefits to having a nice cow around the house - and not just hamburger either. But if that cow doesn't produce milk, the owner deep down isn't getting all he paid for (and continues to pay for).
As for whether my wife belongs in a convent...no. Believe it or not I do love my wife far too much to say that. She's no "cow" either! I AM extremely sexually frustrated and I AM letting off a lot of steam in some of these posts (hey, I don't post here that often, what do you expect? I hold it in until the lid blows off! ) Just as many of you were (rightfully) ticked by that line "sex is all he gets married for" which I know was an extreme over the top exaggeration (with more than a grain of truth nonetheless) - I was EQUALLY ticked off by tired's implication that two to three times a week was unreasonable. The fact of the matter is that she should thank her lucky stars he doesn't ask her for it every day...as many healthy men who truly loved their wives would.
Most men are raised under the teaching that they need to be prepared to take responsibility for a woman's needs - financial, security, emotional, etc. just as many in this thread rightfully say is the case. The problem is that women should EQUALLY (but unfortunately aren't) raised with the understanding that THE NORMAL HEALTHY MAN HAS A VERY POWERFUL SEX DRIVE AND THAT HER FUTURE HUSBAND WILL EXPECT AND HAS A RIGHT TO EXPECT HER TO SATISFY IT. It may sound "shallow" and be "politically incorrect" to say things like that, but nonetheless it's the truth and would-be wives would be far better off if they considered it before getting married. For a wife to become a sexual refuser after marriage is as much a dereliction of her responsibility as it would be for a working husband to quit his job and become a bum after marriage. Yet we as a society tend to go soft on women who do just that, while contining to hold husbands up to the perfect standard. These wives - like and including tiredandlost - deserve to be cracked down on just as much. I don't care HOW much time you spend with the kids, if you're "too tired" to lie back and have a few minutes of fun, you're in bad physical shape and maybe need to either start an exercise program or check into a hospital for critical care, because you're a basket case. Sex is not a demanding activity. It isn't like climbing Mount Everest. So any man who hears the "I'm too tired" excuse has a right to consider his intelligence insulted.
) Just as many of you were (rightfully) ticked by that line "sex is all he gets married for" which I know was an extreme over the top exaggeration (with more than a grain of truth nonetheless) - I was EQUALLY ticked off by tired's implication that two to three times a week was unreasonable. The fact of the matter is that she should thank her lucky stars he doesn't ask her for it every day...as many healthy men who truly loved their wives would. 
