Thank you for all your good wishes for my trip! I still can't really believe that we're going.

I am going to make sure it is filled with wonderful memories. It will the first time my son has ever been on an airplane, and my daughter flew to Australia when she was a baby, so she doesn't remember.

BJ - So nice to hear how well you're doing! Yes - the two years has gone by quickly; I can't believe it's been that long.

Boring update, but getting it off my chest:

I told H yesterday that I don't like it when he answers the phone when he's here and we haven't finished organizing the kids b/c then I have to wait till he gets off. I told him I find it rude, and I'd like it if he didn't do that. He said he'd answer but keep it short! Oh brother. Honestly, it's not like there could be a serious emergency. Anyway, I got it out of my system; I told him how I feel. Now he'll probably ignore that, but I've said it. I'll chalk it up to poor communication skills and disregard for others!

He also said he's no longer manager where he was; he's now got a new title and new office. I think he might actually have said he's VP? But he originally told me he'd be a higher-level manager. He said this a couple of times, so I just asked him for his new phone no. I feel like he's trying to get me tell him how great he is, but I congratulated him last week, and that's all he's getting! Not to be mean, but I'm pretty fed up with validating at this point - it's not my job anymore. Let his gf do that.

After he finished blabbing on the phone, I confirmed that he'd be bringing the kids back at 8 (he had confirmed this by email on Thursday). He said, "Oh yeah, I'll bring them back at 4. I'm going to Toronto for a conference Monday night to Thursday night."

This actually works out well for me, but geez - I am so sick of his assuming that he can do whatever the heck he wants! I told my L and he said we definitely need to have this in the agreement (reasonable notice). I said it was okay b/c D and I had wanted to give each other manicures/pedicures and this would give us time, so she was really happy about that.

I told H that I would have the kids call him every few days, but he said he won't be avaiable b/c of this conference. But he said not to wait till Thurs eve because he wants to make sure that "you guys" get there okay. Six months ago, that would have made my ears perk up, but now, I know that he really wants to make sure the kids are okay. It's just his anxiety speaking; it's nothing to do with me, really.

I've been thinking lately that I have very few good memories of our M since our D10 was born. Almost none. It's like that was the beginning of the end, that was when he started to really pull away, after only four and a half years of marriage.

Why did I hold on for so long?

Ugh - I think I'm PMSing - feeling melancholy today.

Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself
My thread: Trusting God's Plan