Your stitch continues to be interesting. You seem to be doing fine on the DB stuff. Don't sweat the physical stuff - they need to fall again emotionally before recommiting to the physical side. Men are just the opposite. My xW just turned the physical switch off early - helped her detach I think.
Your biggest hurdle is to regain that *attraction*. I read that attraction is not a choice - either it is there or not. From her actions I think she is rediscovering that attraction and that scares her - thus she is "hot and cold".
