I've been DBing, for a few months now, So I am by no means an expert, but I am in your shoes and wanted to share a little with you. I also haven't seen any results, we have no contact whatsoever, she is pregnant and living with the OM, it has been a hard journey, to say the least.
As far as I can tell, and I maybe wrong, (nothing new, been there in the past) DBing is not about changing your spouse, it is about changing yourself, and hoping they will see it, right?
Well, even if my W, never comes around which, I would like to see just like you, but I doubt she ever will, at this point, I know you have to remember, you are doing this for you, and not them.
The hardest part for me, was and is realizing that I need to take the focus off of her and put it on me, my life, and what it will take to make me a better person. If you have a W that is responding to your efforts, in any way, you are to be congratulated for that. I know I don't, but it doesn't hold me back me, now. We are past the 11th hour, and I have been in the ATRT, for almost 2 or 3 months, (lost track) with limited to no contact. W hasn't expressed anything accept how much she hates me and wants no contact. and now I have realized so do I, (the no contact I mean, I don't hate her, just hate the person she has become) it is better that way, no fighting, no hurt, no stress. And I have let her know this, as well. it is pretty sad, we can't even talk about the kids, or me getting my property, without her wanting to argue and cuss me out. She has so much hate, that I just can't stand her, right now.
So I guess, if you are asking how do I make my W see the change in me, when there is no contact, Well, you have to remember to prioritize the reason you wanted to change, and ask yourself. Did you do it for your W or did you do it for yourself?
