(Oh, and Mrs. AC - I think I've said this before, but if you happen to discover all this, it's just me journaling, and trying to work things out in my own head, 'k. x )
Why do you keep doing this? You really need to contemplate why you feel this is neccessary. Take your time. It will help you with your sitch, in many differant areas.
Untill you figure that out, you should stop doing it. When you do figure it out, dont try to justify it. We have talked about it aaaallllloooooottttttt around here. No matter the reason, there is no good reason. However you twist it placating is not attractive, and always goes unappreciated. Oh. Damn. I just gave it away.
Just say oh....and stop doing it. You have a lot of worth to your family. I think you do. Your W thinks you do. Those opinions do not matter if you dont think you do. Just like her opinion on her looks. If her response to your compliments on her looks is deferring, denying, differing or any other thing besides a simple thank you, stop complimenting her. She cant hear it, so save your breath. You cant tell someone, what they dont believe.
If you dont feel so good about your worth, right now, go do something to change your feeling. Noone else can do that for you. If you are, or are trying your best, that also is reason to be proud of yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back.
You have some fear and uncertainty. Thats understandable, but needs to be handled. Thats not an acceptable excuse to not thrash stuff out with your W. She may be cute, but I guarantee, her sh!t (relationship wise) still stinks. The more you thrash stuff out with your W the more confidance and understanding you will have, as to her intentions.
This was a good commment from Xue
Quote:
So I can cook my wife a beautiful meal because I am needy and think it will win her back or I can cook my wife a beautiful meal because I love her and I want to (and I want a good meal myself). The actions are the same but there is a huge difference. I believe women are subtle creatures and they know this difference. I know my wife knows this difference because her reaction is different.
Think about your Intent before you Act. Stop doing, untill you are no longer Reacting, and are instead Acting.
