Give H the wake up call that he hears. Give him the chance to get it. That is all it takes not to be a WAW.
how many different ways can you say you are not happy with the m? how many different ways can you ask for what you want? In the end no matter what when a woman decides to end her marriage because she's not getting the love, companionship, physical attention, affection etc she needs and deserves but is getting the bills paid and the lawn cut and a man who doesn't complain about anything at all she's seen in a negative light.
It's not that I really care how others percieve me...heck there are plenty of people who think less of me for staying in this m and of course there are those who know nothing of my m issues and may think poorly of me for whatever reasons they have.
What matters is what I think and how I feel.
I don't want to be divorced...I don't want to date...I got married and had a family...I just want that family to be a good one. I've been willing to do the work to make it a good m but it seems in the end the only thing I can do is accept that it will never be a good m and just make the best of it. Sad that I just cannot get myself to accept this as my life.
H is never going to wake up until it's too late if in fact he ever does wake up. I don't think you can wake up something that isn't there.
H was right to have left...this r has been dead for a long long time...trouble is he's back and isn't going anywhere and I don't have the same luxury he does of just packing some things and going. Strange that he was able to make the decision that the m was over pack his stuff and leave but I cannot make that decision...he wont leave "if you don't like it YOU LEAVE" is what I hear...ya and where do I drag my kids off to? why should the kids lives be distrubted? why can't he leave? why does he think being here is doing anyone any good? "because we got married and had a family" just doesn't work unless your willing to actually make it a family and that includes having a more than platonic relationship with your wife...more than a "I'll be home at 8" there has to be some consistant effort put toward having an actual relationship that involves at least some level of intimacy but it's just not happening here.
