I remember those days. I told my H to quit calling me and he called me 40 times in one week and left me 13 text messages. I think this drove me even more crazy. One thing I started to do was ignore my H phone calls. This was difficult to do, but in the end it helps in the detaching process. So when your H calls, ignore him. Don't answer, no matter how hard it is. I figured that if it was important, he would leave a message and then I would call him back, if I felt it was truly important. Text messaging is also great, I told my H that if it was important to text me and not to call. He has always been the one to contact me. I have never done it. He finally quit two weeks ago. I don't know if it is because I told him that I was letting him go, or if it is because of OW. In any case, I feel great and it has been nice to have no contact with him. Another thing that I did to help me through the process, is focus on me. I know you hear that a lot, but it really does pay off. I have noticed a tremendous difference in myself. It has taken 7 months, but it has all been worth it. I wrote a list of things that I have been wanting to do and I started doing it. I am training for a marathon, going back to school for my masters, and I have taken one trip. On top of these long goals, I have little goals for myself everyday, like taking time for myself. As for the bars.............I went out with my friends in the beginning and I hated it. Now, I go out every other weekend and I have a blast. I go to dance and only to dance. The bars are a huge meat market and I find that disgusting, but on the otherhand, I know that I am not out to meet anyone. I am just out to have fun with my friends. I also have reconnected with other friends and go out to dinner. I try to do this at least once a month. I hope some of this helps. Remember, keep your chin up and start enjoying your life. It is a long road, but it will pay off. I am still on that road, but I know that even in a month it will be better and thereafter. It takes time, and I know sometimes time is the hardest, but also it is truly our best friend. I told my H once ,that I would not change anything that has happened because I became a stronger person and I like who I am now. I hope that someday, you can tell your H the same thing.
