thanks JDK, I know that I need to work out more. and luckily s3 was totally cool there. Very bad that the weights I was using on the machines were about 50 lbs less than what I normally do. Boy that's sad!
With my mom in town, my H and I are actually gonna see a movie. We've not had a very good communicative day today though. He's been weird today. Guess I just have to remember not to let his moods affect my own!
hope we have a good time tonight though.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
How did your night out and the movie turn out? Hope you had a great time! You're right about trying to not let your H's mood affect yours, in fact you might be able to change his by resisting getting pulled into his negative mood and instead pull him into your positive mood!
JDK, it was okay. we kinda had a tiff at one point talking about his Bro's girlfriend who wrecked my MIL car. Well, I have no idea if he thinks it was, but I was sticking up for her, and he was doing the opposite and he starts raising his voice at me. So then I'm just like okay, whatever.
We went and saw Knocked up. probably not the best movie for me to watch. Those things always hit too close to home. So most the movie I kinda felt uncomfortable. It was pretty funny in general, but movies that have a pregnant girl with the father who's not married to her who's totally ignorant and doesn't really care usually isn't the best movie for me. Then plus there was a family that brought their 2 little kids. probably age 3 and 4. I'm just like, ug,. what is wrong with parents. Really made the movie worse for me, because half the time I'm thinking about.."oh my gosh, those kids just saw a naked woman, or guys doing drugs, or heard the "f" word about 50 times". Hope no one here lets their kids go to R rated movies, cause if you do, well, I guess your probably offended by my comments. I remember going to Gladiator and there was 2 kids around 4 or 5 with their parents. That show was horribly violent.
okay, enough of my venting.
HOWEVER, during movies I always wish my H would hold my hand or something cause he never does unless I do it. So I just don't even like to do it because I feel like why bother. Well, 2/3rds into it he actually put is hand on my leg. Definitely made me feel better, especially with the movie we were watching. Afterwards we stood by the truck for a while and I watch caressing his stomach and back and stuff. I wish he would look at me more. You know, like a look that tells you he loves you. I know I shouldn't be like this, but the whole night I'm just thinking, why are we together. it's almost like we bring out the worst in each other instead of the opposite. Sorry I'm being so negative. After watching that show, I'm just like, ya, that was us. Although we did date first, but not very long, and then I was retarded and we got pregnant and it took 4-5 years before we got M, so that's why this whole sitch had me confused too because I'm like, SHOULD we really be together? H said last night after one of those compatibility hookup commercials that if we got on there we wouldn't be close to getting set up with each other. I said, well they put people who are different to compliment your strengths and weaknesses.
Well, I should mention that I just started today so I would be PMSing yesterday, and I also found out later that H hasn't felt too good (tummy wise). so, we're both not having a too good of a weekend.
I guess my big thing is that I can tell he's bored, and there was one day where he was getting that anger like last year with the kids, and I'm sure it's because we need to GAL, but we also need to bond more or something. We really don't have an intimate connection. This is why I know that Nikki and her H are going to come out of this. You guys had a great connection, something me and my H never have. Maybe someday, and I know that things are better now, and I just need to help it continue to grow.
Sorry for being negative...it's just a woman thing! I'll be more positive now.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Good to get caught up on your weekend. Sorry the movie wasn't a completely positive experience for you, but I heard some good things from it too. I completely agree about people that are opposite being together, it provides balance, but it also takes some give and take from BOTH sides to provide that balance. What is each of your's LL and are you guys loving each other in the right LL? Hope you can find some time and ways to built that intimacy.
I know you guys can create something great together.. guess it's my turn to remind you eh? Patience... (sigh, I know).
Hope you have a better REST of the weekend!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
JDK- thanks. I did pull up a LL quiz online and asked my H to do it. I can't remember where I put the sheet I printed, but I remember my H was Quality time first. That was almost last on mine. I think mine was words or service, can't remember. Ya, I think he has no idea about that part of Rs. I think he thinks that you just be yourself and do what you do, and if it works, great. He's never been one to "try" working on our R. Or maybe he just tries in different ways and I'm not seeing it.
I would love for us to go to a R session of some kind, but I mentioned that after we got back together and he was like, I don't want to do that.
I guess I'm still kinda working on this by myself in a way, but at least we are better, and he wants to be my H forever. So this year is definitely a 100% improvement to last year. It's all a learning experience I know.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Nikki.. thanks for the reminders It is hard isn't it. Sometimes you get tired of being the only one who seems to be "trying". Here we are reading books getting on this site, actively working on making our R's better, and they don't seem to be doing anything. Although, I know my H isn't doing nothing. I guess it just seems like it since we are sooooo involved.
I do feel better. I definitely was pmsing. I guess I started getting that feeling you were thinking, oh no, he's in a depressed mood, what if he changes his mind. ya, I know, wrong thoughts... I know better. gotta go..talk soon thanks nikki
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Thanks also for popping into my thread with your comments, prayers & kind support
Seeing as you are in piecing (boy am I envious) I've heard it can still be a bumpy ride, so I thought I would share a message from my email inbox (everything might not apply to you here though) :
Quote:
Each Tuesday Bob shares his thoughts almost 20 years, (19 years, 11 months, 11 days to be exact), after remarriage to Charlyne following their divorce. Today he writes about the restoration process that each healed marriage experiences. - - - - -
ALMOST HOME -
From my personal experience, and from ministry experience, I suspect that most prodigals who have returned home, and have stayed home to see their marriage restored, have done so after a few false starts.
The pull toward home by the Holy Spirit is so strong, but then the Enemy tugs us back in the opposite direction.
For the sake of illustration, at times, it is much like two boys playing tug of war on the playground. Just when one appears to be winning, the second gives a tremendous tug on the rope that once again brings things back like they were, but please do not think that your God is in a battle of power with Satan. It is your spouse on one end of the rope, and the Enemy on the other. Your marriage is in the center for the winner to claim.
We were divorced. I had been offered a job out of town. I had quit my job locally, and given notice that I was breaking the lease on my efficiency apartment. Suddenly the out of town offer was in question. I was to be told in a few days if the offer was still open. I faced being unemployed, with no place to live. My first thought when I hung up that doubtful phone call was, "If this all falls through, I will move home."
Why did I consider going home? Because my wife had told me that the door at home was always open for me, regardless of the circumstances, and at any time. I called her and explained my dilemma, but even before calling, I was confident of what her reply would be, because she had told me, not only in words, but in her actions. Does your prodigal know they are welcomed back at home? If so, does your walk match your talk?
One of the most discouraging areas of day-to-day ministry work is dealing with people who are dabbling with standing. It is extremely frustrating to have a stander report: *** "Yes, I am standing for my marriage, but I also go to divorce recovery because it helps my self-esteem. The reason I am so active in the Singles Ministry at church is to be around other people. I do go out, but it is really not dating. He/she is also standing and understands. I have failed morally, but only a couple of times, and besides, God understands my needs. He doesn't want me to be miserable. I am so busy that I had to unsubscribe from 'Charlyne Cares' messages. They were filling my mailbox. I try to remember to pray on the way to work, unless there is something good on the radio. I stopped praying for my prodigal, though, and am just letting God work.
"My wedding bands? I don't wear them because God might send someone into my life and they would think I am married and not approach me. I think I know where my rings are, though, for when my spouse comes home. There will be time to find them, because I have made a list, based on what everyone has told me my spouse must do before I can allow them in the house again.
"You asked about the last scripture verse that God gave me. He doesn't talk to me. I am standing, but, if my 'ex' has a baby or marries that other person I am released, because of some scripture that I can't remember. Besides everyone in the Internet chat room told me to find someone else, but God is going to restore my marriage soon, because I gave Him a deadline." ***
Thankfully, this did not all come from the same individual, or I might have had stroke number seven, and Charlyne could have had something. This is a composite of what we are hearing every day, from men and women claiming to be "standers."
If I have offended you, as a stander, by one of those comments, I make no apology. Our prodigal men and women are going to Hell, living in sin and running from Christ, while some make a game of standing with God and praying for their mate's salvation.
The Lord sends prodigals home to standing spouses who are sold out to Him, and who are ready to welcome a hurting wounded prodigal home, in any condition, and under any circumstances.
The false start toward home will come for your spouse. When it does, you must always be prepared to intensify your praying, your spiritual warfare, your time with the Lord, and your stand with Him.
In my false start, the Enemy pulled his end of the rope, and the job came through. The other person was off to help me move. Did Charlyne give up over all this? You know the rest of the story.
I can assure you that after that incident, when I knew I was welcomed at home, I began to have false starts in rapid-fire succession, until the day I obeyed what the Holy Spirit had been telling me to do for two years.
Your spouse can be manipulated back home, but that is not God's plan. If you do, this is not a false start; it is a stall, and you know what happens to airplanes that stall--they crash. The Lord wants to change you first, and then your mate, rebuilding your marriage on the solid rock of Jesus Christ.
If your prodigal is making false starts toward home, and then backing out or disappearing, stand strong and rejoice because God is at work in the life of your resistant mate.
"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!..." Romans 7:21-25
JDK- thanks! I am feeling better. I like what CM just posted too. I really need to pray more for my H. I had decided a couple months ago that once a month or every other, I would fast for the day and pray just for my H. I did it once. It's probably time to do it again.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
I'll be more positive now.
