Sorry for not checking in last night but I was up since 3:00 am when I went to work friday so by the time I got home I could not keep my eyes open. Everyone it’s not too exciting but here it is. First let me set up the situation. My W and I take turns sleeping in my son’s room. He is afraid to sleep by himself (this is a whole another issue and it probably contributed to my marriage problems.) any who It was my turn to sleep in our room but. I told my W to go ahead and sleep there with S. I’ll sleep in his room when I get back. Now the reason I did this is because in our room you can hear the garage door open and I wanted her to hear me come home LATE. So at 7:30 OI told her I was going to take a shower and get ready to “go out”. I took my shower and (this is a little personal but) I put on this skimpy underwear the W bought me years ago. I did this because she would find them in the hamper the next day. I shaved and put on cologne (which I don’t do often) I ever “spilled” some on the sink so she would smell it when she got ready for bed. So I was all dressed up came out and said good bye I’ll see ya later and left. My first stop was at a book store. My plan even though is seems boring to most of you but I have not been out in a long time was to get a book and sit upstairs at this jazz club and read. (Ok I know this is not exciting but I was out right?). Anyway I did find the book after the affair but the book store was closing so I didn’t get it. Looking at the book it seemed not the right time in my sitch to read it. So I walked down the street to the bar I went to a couple of weeks ago with my Nephew (who is 5 years younger than me). We played pool there. So I go in and got a beer and sat at the bar. I noticed at the pool table was one of the guys I played pool with last time and went over to talk. (He had been there a while and was feeling pretty good. He remembered me. So I watched the pool game. (Andyv there were a lot of “Sheila’s there) that’s females for my American friends. I got checked out and I was checking them out. A little while one female came over to me and asked what was wrong I looked sad. (She was a little drunk and I seen her last time I was there she is a regular). I told her there was nothing wrong I was feeling fine and I was. (I wanted to get away form her though). So I sat around and met some guys played a little pool. See I am building a foundation at this place. I think after a few times more people will start to approach me when I become a ‘Simi regular”. So people bought me drinks I had a good time. I left about 11:30 to go home. When I got there I noticed the bedroom light was on in our room. Now My w usually stays up until about 10:30 so I don’t know if she was waiting for me to get home or was just up a litter later than normal. But I did not go in the house. I went to our camper and slept in there. At about 7:30 am I got up and opened the garage door and went into the house. My W had straightened up the bed in my son’s room. If she looks in there she may noticed that I didn’t sleep there. W was sleeping so I ate breakfast and then went to the store. When I got back it was 9:00 and she was still in bed. I went in there and she opened her eyes I said I’m sorry but I could not wait any longer I had to take my shower because I have a lot to do today (Sunday we are haveing family over for my sons B-day party. And I will be BBQing so I had to get the back yard cleaned up. She just said “what ever” not meanly. I took my shower (put my underwear on top of the clothes in the hamper). And started doing my chores. I have kept a PMA this morning. She has not asked where I was, what time I got home. Where did I sleep? Nothing. Sooo that is it. One thing I have noticed I have written a lot just now so I will not go into it right now but it seems my W is “GIVING ME SPACE”. I will give you more details on things I have noticed later. Overall even though nothing great happen I think I did pretty good for going out by myself. Got ta go clean the back yard
Later
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Husband, I think your excursions to the bookstore and pool hall were excellent adventures. You not only went, but played pool! I guess you didn't make it to the jazz club (or was that the same as the pool hall)?
I might be inspired to visit my fair city, and do something similar, while my W is on her cruise. I think I'll check the entertainment section and see what's going on tomorrow.
A pat on the back for you, a handshake, and a "well done." The first steps on the GAL path are tough.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
I am intrigued by your "love languages" test. Can you post the questions so I can try it on my husband too. I already know what my love language is. I like gifts of jewelry.
Boy have I screwed up in the past. I think I have found what went wrong…. First let me say I took the five languages of love test. Physical Touch is my primary and Word of Affirmation and Quality time is pretty equal.
Now a little history.
When I met my wife I smoked cigarettes she did not smoke. But it did not seem to bother her. I never smoked in her house or when we were together in a car. Any way I don’t remember how long after we got married I quit. Fast forward now my daughter (10) (from a previous marriage) collapses one day and can not walk we rushed her to the hospital. They do not know what is wrong with her. I stayed at the hospital 24 hours a day on the third day my W told me I looked like I need a cigarette. That it was ok if I did. Well that was it I started smoking again. But I hid it. My daughter ended up having a staff infection in her leg mussels and was given antibiotics and was fine a few weeks later. Any way Like I said I became a closet smoker. I would smoke only when I was by myself. I would go out to my shop for a cigarette. I did not want my W to know I was smoking so I would avoid getting close to her so she would not smell the smoke. This went on for YEARS. Boys have I fu@ked up. Soooo now I need all of your help. I know it is going to be hard but I love my wife and I want to save my marriage. As of Monday I am Quitting. There I said it. Please…. Check up on me……
Soooo now my next problem is how do I start getting close again without hovering around her? I am going to ask her out next Saturday for a light dinner and dancing (ya gotta touch here). What I am going to ask her is how late she thinks her mom can watch our son that way she can decide how late she wants to stay out.
Talk to ya all later
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Chantix is a new quit smoking drug that is awesome!!! I had quit too until H dropped the D bomb. He was still smoking and they were right there in front of me and I haven't decided I really want to quit again yet, but it really does work! It's worth a try. Good luck, quitting sucks, but it is possible.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
