Help, I'm ashamed of myself!!! Up til now my WAH has caused me unimaginable pain suffering and yes anger. But, for the most part I have taken the high road even when it meant turning the other cheek.
However, today I completely lost it. I'm a short 6 weeks from the final D. (barring any further contesting on H's part). It should no longer bother me that he and the ow sneak trips together. But this weekend I had plans to take my kids camping.
I ended up having to cancel (third time) because stbx had a bus. trip to Vegas and he supposedly couldn't get back in time to close the shop we own on Friday. No problem I thought, But come to find out, his meetings ended early on Friday and instead taking an early afternoon flight to get back to at least close on Sat. He opted to take a much later flight on Sat. and leave me to close the store.
He didn't know that I had found out that he took the OW on his trip. What bugs me is that I didn't want this store, he did. I told him when he opened it that I was completely against it. So now I find that I have to change my plans, so that he can be off in Vegas having a good time w/ her.
On top of that he took my laptop on his trip, which I didn't agree to. Needless to say, my blood was boiling!
I went to his Condo, saw that his car was parked (he used a rent a car to get to the airport) and I keyed the side of his door. He loves his car!!!
I feel really bad for doing that, but I hate feeling used!
I guess it's time to go to confession! In my defense, he keyed my heart when he left for her and his mlc event.
In all honesty, I think alot of us have thought about doing this. I have. My H owns a convertable Jaquar and boy I have thought about doing that.
You acted on your temptation. I am not going to be hard on you either because I know you feel bad enough. I want you to remember that vengeance is the Lords. He will take care of what your husband has done to you and your family. You do not have to burden yourself with that duty. He also loves you and will forgive you for what you have done as long as you acknowledge it.
Come here and post before you act on temptations. It helps
Luv goal
Me: 45 H: 43 Married: 19 years Dated 05 years Bomb: 11/06 OW - "I love her, but still want you as my friend"
You may think this is just piling on here, but....
It sounds to me like you really cannot depend on your husband for anything. Anything at all.
No, it isn't fair, it isn't right, and it isn't proper. But it is. It just is. Please take care of babysitting and other details without involving him.
It's your life, sugar, and you can't allow him to control it in any way.
Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp, and she's probably getting frisky. right now he's probably buying her some fruity little drink cause she can't shoot whiskey. right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo and he don't know...
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires. maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke.. right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk" and he's thinking that he's gonna lucky, right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom polo. and he don't know...
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seat... I took a louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires... maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.
I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl, cause the next time that he cheats.. oh you know it won't be on me! no.. not on me..
I dug my key into the side of his pretty little suped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seat... I took a louisville slugger to both head lights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires... maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. ohh.. maybe next time he'll think.. before he cheats...
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
That song is hilarious. Hey I thought about spray painting H's car with red paint. It was a thought. Didn't want to go to jail.
Hey try to control your emotions. Not worth it. Look how you feel now. It must have felt good when you did it though, but this is not the way to get back.
Your happy life when H sees it will be the revenge.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Do you really think I have to tell him the truth? He doesn't even know that I know for sure where he lives.
I think it stems from him not wanting us to see the condo the ow is paying for him to live in.
I know he won't think I did this cuz I have never, never behaved like this!!!! I am usually too nice.
But thanks, my conscience was really bothering me.
My only regret is that if I knew I was going to feel this bad over a small key job, I should gone for something bigger like running him over...Just kidding!!!
What bugs me is that I didn't want this store, he did. I told him when he opened it that I was completely against it. So now I find that I have to change my plans, so that he can be off in Vegas having a good time w/ her.
Just a thought, Don't let his plans change yours. Close the store at the time he was suppose to get back to help you out and take your kids camping. Don't let him control you that way.
I know it was wrong. I should have vented here but, the anger got the best of me.
Teaches me to be careful, and to continue keeping up tight bounderies with him, so I don't keep feeling like a victim.
I must admit, while I ran the key down the side of his precious car, I did feel alittle bit vindicated. Course it only lasted til I finished the key job.
Then I felt really bad. I know God is with me, but you know sometimes it just feels like everything goes their way.
But, thanks for reminding me that I can come and tell you all my terrible deeds or thoughts of what I'd like to do to him.
It's so darn complicated!!! You see I knew he was starting to question his life and his unfulfilled dreams about 3 yrs. ago.
I remember thinking when he came to me with the idea of opening a Coffee/Tea house that this was probably his mlc. Even though I told him I didn't think it was a good idea...too much of a risk, etc.
I ended up supporting him and his dream to own his own bus. But, that included me having to run it primarily cuz he wanted to keep his 9 to 5 (salary, benefits, etc.)
Well, long story short, he also began the affair. I didn't know at first. But here's the punch line. The almost $180,000. loan for the store rests on our house as a second. Meaning that if the store doesn't do well, I lose the house!
As much as I would like to just walk away, it would only hurt me in the long run. The D deal is that I get to keep the house until my 3rd child reaches 18. He's 11.
I have got the store up for sale, as that is my priority now. He says he wants to sell also but moves at the pace of a snail.
I am currently finding ways to not let this happen again.
Anyway you're right I can't let him do this kind of thing!
