Still Tryin's new thread

[S.T. _I Made It!]

JDK, it was okay. we kinda had a tiff at one point talking about his Bro's girlfriend who wrecked my MIL car. Well, I have no idea if he thinks it was, but I was sticking up for her, and he was doing the opposite and he starts raising his voice at me. So then I'm just like okay, whatever.

We went and saw Knocked up. probably not the best movie for me to watch. Those things always hit too close to home. So most the movie I kinda felt uncomfortable. It was pretty funny in general, but movies that have a pregnant girl with the father who's not married to her who's totally ignorant and doesn't really care usually isn't the best movie for me. Then plus there was a family that brought their 2 little kids. probably age 3 and 4. I'm just like, ug,. what is wrong with parents. Really made the movie worse for me, because half the time I'm thinking about.."oh my gosh, those kids just saw a naked woman, or guys doing drugs, or heard the "f" word about 50 times". Hope no one here lets their kids go to R rated movies, cause if you do, well, I guess your probably offended by my comments. I remember going to Gladiator and there was 2 kids around 4 or 5 with their parents. That show was horribly violent.

okay, enough of my venting.

HOWEVER, during movies I always wish my H would hold my hand or something cause he never does unless I do it. So I just don't even like to do it because I feel like why bother. Well, 2/3rds into it he actually put is hand on my leg. Definitely made me feel better, especially with the movie we were watching. Afterwards we stood by the truck for a while and I watch caressing his stomach and back and stuff. I wish he would look at me more. You know, like a look that tells you he loves you. I know I shouldn't be like this, but the whole night I'm just thinking, why are we together. it's almost like we bring out the worst in each other instead of the opposite. Sorry I'm being so negative. After watching that show, I'm just like, ya, that was us. Although we did date first, but not very long, and then I was retarded and we got pregnant and it took 4-5 years before we got M, so that's why this whole sitch had me confused too because I'm like, SHOULD we really be together? H said last night after one of those compatibility hookup commercials that if we got on there we wouldn't be close to getting set up with each other.
I said, well they put people who are different to compliment your strengths and weaknesses.

Well, I should mention that I just started today so I would be PMSing yesterday, and I also found out later that H hasn't felt too good (tummy wise). so, we're both not having a too good of a weekend.

I guess my big thing is that I can tell he's bored, and there was one day where he was getting that anger like last year with the kids, and I'm sure it's because we need to GAL, but we also need to bond more or something. We really don't have an intimate connection. This is why I know that Nikki and her H are going to come out of this. You guys had a great connection, something me and my H never have. Maybe someday, and I know that things are better now, and I just need to help it continue to grow.

Sorry for being negative...it's just a woman thing! I'll be more positive now.