Running around a lot today but wanted to put up a quick post. I feel great today! W, kids and I went to Ikea to grab the boys a bunk bed for the W's house. Then I had to get D6 to a birthday party. Then I went and set up the bunk bed and did some other loose end stuff. Brought her one of our grills, tv, etc. I think the kids are going to spend their first night there tonight.
What a difference a couple of weeks can make. Two weeks ago, I walked in there and left in tears. Today - no problem at all. I just really feel like I am truly starting to move on with my life. I'm happy that she has her little corner of the world over there for herself and the kids. It feels good. I'm excited to get to my place.
I guess...I'm just starting to realize that the way she is right now with her lies, cheating, etc....I really do not want to be with her. I do love her and I know that good person that I married is in there somewhere....but until she comes out again...I just have not interest in being with her. I mean I like to be around her, be friendly, etc...but I finally get it...I really do deserve better. I deserve to be with someone I can trust fully and with someone who doesn't hurt me. And I'm not bitter at all. And I know that seems weird...but I'm not. It's just like - ok go live your life, if you need me, let me know - I'll help you in any way I can...all is good.
I don't know...know I'm rambling...have a lot to do so I'll come back later and clean this up some more...but all is good in the world of swashy.
Just called my "friend's" friend...left her a message. Looking forward to getting out and having some fun tonight. Fishing in the AM. heehheee.
You know waht else...I feel like I am finally being ME around her....because I AM moving on. I feel like we're not really on the opposite sides of the fence anymore...that tension isn't there for me. It was Memphis Scottie today....almost. Not as wild...but happy and fun. AND IT FELT GREAT! YAY ME!
