"I really don't know, because it takes two people it seems like the lowest common denominator is the one that rules the relationship since you can't make one person feel anything they don't want to deal with, so the other person is forced to the same level in the relationship."
Here I think is the kicker... we feel "forced" or out of control. Because we are abandoned in reality by the spouse leaving the marriage. You have to go through the process and the steps I guess but in the end, no one is forcing us to stay with people who don't want us or don't treat us well. We can say we'll be married to them, and love them, and respect them, but we call also be true to ourselves, our values, and our needs, I think. I think it's just hard, plain and simple. When your spouse leaves, you go through the process, regardless of if they come back or not. Maybe the more we can educate ourselves on that process though, the better off we may be in dealing with it, however, we have feelings and emotions and some of it just has to "happen."
Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. -Marcus Aurelius
