Terey - I have always tried to live by "If you don't know what to do about it, don't do anything at all." So, if you're not sure what step to take yet, if you're not sure you want to move on...it's best you stay put until you are confident in a decision. This is where I'm at now. I NOW am confident that I CAN'T be with him now, or maybe ever. It's not about I don't want to be with him, because I still do. H even told me that when I looked in his eyes with tears down my face and told him "I can't because you broke my heart." He said, he felt my conviction. He FELT I was truly done.
Jazz - I can only say that me "leaving" H for good was the ONLY thing that seemed to really make him acknowledge that we aren't together and may never be. H told me that this acknowledgement has scared him more than anything. This was not a LRT or a going dark moment for me. I truly did let him go. But, like I said, this is no advice by any means for anyone here. I just wanted to share my story...
hope - We've been together for 7 years, married for 5. The first separations were for 3 months at a time, but this time it's going on 10 months. H didn't leave me for OW, although both him and I have dated other people through one of our separations. I can understand your struggle with OW, because even though H and I were not together when he dated someone else, I still had those feelings to deal with when we got back together. Almost felt like infidelity.
Every time I come on here and read your sitch's, my heart just aches for all of you as well as myself. I just got to a point in my life where I was filled to the brim with hurt, so I NEEDED to let go.
What H is doing right now (counseling, etc.) is great for him, but I have to be honest and say that I don't have high hopes for his efforts. I PRAY he gets the help he needs, but as for my life right now? I'm living it for me...
