Thanks and believe me this stuff tests anyones sanity. I just went and looked at your previous posts and see that roller coaster ride is very similar. I also question going dark, get that pit in the stomach feeling and learned what chronic anxiety is. I also have had that revolving door, the ole that's it H goes I want a divorce I'm moving out. My last response was let me help you pack. He always goes and signs a 6 month lease although I and therapist tried to get him to go to residence inn or week to week. He once told me that when he goes he absolutely believes this is it and that is why he signs a lease. Funny thing this time he is back in same apartment he leased in dec 03/jan 04. The exact same one. Ground hog day movie stuff. He this time didn't want me to know where he was.... took me about 15 minutes to find him.
I too have been hurt and subject to verbal and emotional abuse and I have seriously questioned our history together. My H is so immature in the relationship department. I am not sure how long you have been married but it is harder as you get older to make that move. I also see you work which is great. We have a lot of assets together here but I have not worked in a long time and this move out is financially draining us. I am on a tight budget for the first time in this move out. I also live in midwest state that has a 12 month separation file. He has never filed, lawyer consultations on both our parts, he tends want things all wrapped up before seeing a lawyer, wants me to decide on settlement offer etc. I know the divorce law inside out by now. He has problems with the law.
You sound like you are doing so well. I keep telling myself that this has to be what I want and on here I take the advice of others with a lot more weight as people here have been in our shoes and feel it. Do what is in your heart and leave open the possiblity of you changing your feelings day to day. If if does feel right do what you feel, if it doesn't feel right try doing nothing for a while. Hope this helps, you certainly have helped me!
