I completely understasnd what your saying which is why I said I would have to do the study myself. From the reading I found some authors say 1%. some 3% some 10%. I do realize that I can not just take the authors word for it but I was just summarizing what I saw overall in my reading.
It is purely my opinion based on what I have read. I am not making anything set in stone which is nearly impossible when dealing with people anyway.
I think I read these articles and books due to my own backround in science. I like to see stats, and am aware of problems within them. I may not be as experienced as you, but I also know a good experiment is one that can be repeated over and over with the same results and that goes for surveys as well. So these figures are hypothesis at best.
I understand completely the need to be our own people and not losing ourselves in wanting our marriages back.
For me though I have been running straight ahead for a long time, I am the person I want to be. So it is my time to reflect and stop for a change. Through four kids and a career as a teacher I travel, and am working on my second Master's degree. I have been running full steam ahead since 1995. My husband has been by my side for most of that time. But sadly he has not accomplished as much although he has been enrolled in school a few times. Even though I supported him he didn't seem to want to continue. He is really smart but he doesn't see himself the same way I do.
Now he is at a point in his life where he is questioning where he is at and he is unhappy and is not sure why. It breaks my heart. I will stand no matter what. I know the pain he endured as a child and teenager and I see the things he continues to deal with from his family's past and present. He is really confused right now and cutting himself off from everyone. Every now and then he talks to me on his own about our marriage and admits he can only point out small issues and he tells me its him. Regardless of how this ends I know I will be ok, but I would like him to feel the peace and happiness that I have. I can't even imagine how it must feel to be him. Yes I do pray that it ends in us staying together.
