H and I have gone out on a few dates. I would like that, I guess when we do I have these expectations that wow we are going to get back together soon and No that doesn't happen. He also sometimes meets me at the place instead of going together. I don't like that!
Also I can't stand the here from him some days and then I think he gets depressed and we don't here from him for a few days. He becomes a NO show or NO call and doesn't return phone calls.
This is much better now. He seems to be coming out of whatever he is going through more. Now this week he was really calling and talking more, but because I said hey I am moving away with the kids. He said you can run, but I will always be a part of the kids lives. Yes I said that is correct.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I am very strong willed and a great business woman, but I don't do well with taking on that submissive W role. I think H would prefer that role better.
I am a straight forward and honest person and will tell you what I really think and feel. Probably not so good in a relationship.
Yes you can talk about it, but only if you asked him what you did wrong. If you ask H what do you think he could have done to prevented the buisiness from going under - well I think he will start foaming at the mouth and want nothing to do with you. If you ask him about his rebuilding plans, we may no stop talking. If he asks you your opion - don't give it to him. Instead tell him you get back to it. If you think his idea is stupid, try to lead him to that conclusion.
Fixer, but the problem is H does not ask for my opinion. I don't get the chance to discuss it with him. He says it's non of your business. Then the real trouble starts when I give him my opinion, because he is way off base and I can see the end result already.
I can't really give an example because all the ones I am thinking of are I would find out after the fact that he had made a poor business decision and then I would say what were you thinking why would you do something like that.
In the beginning he blamed me for everything. It's true I did get involved with the business by discussing with his partner what was H doing and then discussed with his family. So part of this whole thing is that H is bitter and angry over my actions. Many times I have to say to H that was a long time ago let it go!
Ask him about rebuilding or NO. Yeah and now he wants to start another business. What is he thinking?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Fixer, how do I tell him Duh H could you work on your family first before launching into another business. I tried encouraging him on his idea, but come on now I am not exactly jumping up and down with joy.
What could possibly be going through his head?
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Then the real trouble starts when I give him my opinion, because he is way off base and I can see the end result already
I know you were looking out for your family's best interest, but you can't predict the future. Even if its plain as the nose on you face you still don't know what the out come is going to be. You and I are too much alike. Your H and my W may be the same. Just b/c something is obvious to you, doesn't mean your H can see it. More problems happen when you give him advice. He probably digs his heels in on his ideas and yours don't aren't considered anymore. I know this is hard, but you can't change him. You can only change yourself.
I get the idea that talking about the buisness would benefit you more than him. I suggest you try to talk about baseball or something. If he has any hobbies that's usually a safe bet.
Quote:
I would say what were you thinking why would you do something like that.
This statement alone would hurt anyone. You don't kick a man who's down. That's what this comment sounds like to me.
