H was not stable before he lost the business. I think he was going into depression then. We fought all the time about the business and then the porn sites, everything just went to hell in a hand basket.
I don't think your H went into depression after the buisness failed. I think the buisness caused the depression. Well you can always tell H your ready to listen. At first he may resist then after that he may wish you never opened up that can of worms. Use I statements when you talk and tell him how you feel then - shutup in listen. He may accuse you of not doing your share or even blame you for his faults. Just acknowledge what he says and tell him if you agree or disagree. Don't defend yourself remind him that what happened is in the past. An I statement that may kick things off might be something like. I think running the buissness was tough on the both of us. What are your thoughts about that. In the end you may hear some very valid excuses why he did the crazy things you though he was doing.
IMP, I do shower everyday, put on my make-up and curl my long locks. I thought this is what everyone does everyday.
Yeah, I didn't want the first D got over that and possibly heading for a 2nd D, but I love being married so might be looking for a 3rd H. That sounds so bad!
Now, maybe I need to be looking at my approach here with men.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
I like living on my own, but I know I had to change my approach to life. My failed marriage was merely the culmination of the old approach. So what you said makes sense.
OMG fixer you are great! Good advice I love it. Where were you when H and I were going through our issues to begin with?
I think he may be up against a law suit with the business. Do you think that would still be a good thing to discuss?
Any ideas to open up dialogue with H. What he tells me is that he does owe me an explaination, but that he can't even begin to talk until he feels he has rebuilt what he lost. I told him he owes me nothing. He said that is not what you really think!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
IMP I am getting my hair done next week, I could send you my leftovers.
I don't do well on my own. I love to socialize, love having company over, entertaining and especially loved being married with children.
You know dinners, playing games, going to church. I love it all. You know sad, but I have always had a boyfriend or H since I was 16. 30 years of being with a man, but I just love to be in relationships good or bad.
I am very strong willed and a great business woman, but I don't do well with taking on that submissive W role. I think H would prefer that role better.
I am a straight forward and honest person and will tell you what I really think and feel. Probably not so good in a relationship.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Where were you when H and I were going through our issues to begin with?
Making the same mistakes you were. Not with a failed M, but taking care of our D.
Bringing up a man's failures is not a good idea. Asking a man how something went wrong is just a piece in a puzzle to him. I think you and H should go out on some dates. Promises him you won't talk about the R - that want to talk about anything light and casual. Sports, up and coming events or even someone elses failed M.
