Ok Personal ? Here... Curious!

[johns_blondie]

My H did the same to me. He actually called me one day (after the D) and told me he was asking OW to marry him. I took a deep breath and told him "Good Luck with that". That COMPLETELY took him by surprise. He was not expecting that at all. After that, he showed up on my doorstep begging me back. He knew at that point that I was letting him go. By the way...he never intended on asking OW to marry him...he was just trying to get at me.

I would have loved to have "played" around with him...I just never could bring myself to be the OW. After all...I was supposed to be #1...and as long as he was involved with OW....I was not going to settle for being something on the side.

[inmyplace]

Very interesting, johns_blondie. God post.

[FriendlyOneDuh]

GG, sweetie,

I'm sorry to say this, but you sound very immature in your posts. Are you a young person?

Unprotected sex is a no-no at this time. IF you are going to use a condom and your brain, maybe. But...,.

We all should know that the bonding hormones that come with orgasm are much stronger (usually) in women than men. In other words, women are much more connected on a physical plane through sexual activity (in general) than are men.

As your husband is not a part of your home life at this moment, sexual contact may not be the smartest thing for you.

Just my opinion. Take care of yourself.

J

[glamgirl]

Ok Fixer. H is 38 Me 46, S18, S5, D3 M7 Separated 8/06. No pg Came back 1/07 2 weeks without any notice or talking nothing. Just appeared. I went along with it, since I didn't know what to do. Then just as he appeared he left again.

He lost a business, had some falling out with business partner, OW appeared but they both deny anything is going on. H has falling out with family over money. I think H is deeply depressed. All the time talks of rebuilding, rebuilding, rebuilding. What does that mean?

No MLC behavior with clothes, gym, peircing's, really the opposite gained some weight I think from eating lots of fast food. I am a great cook and I am sure he is missing that. At times before he found work after he lost his business, I wondered if he had taken a shower in a week.

[glamgirl]

Thanks J for calling me a young person. I guess 46 is young. Sometimes don't you just have the desire to just want it all back the way it was. That's all! Just a last moment together with H before I leave the state.

[inmyplace]

What's wrong with not showering for a week...GAH!!!

Was he stable before he lost his business? I understand the notion of rebuilding as I was never happy with my work.

[Fixer]

Hi GG,

I think you may be onto something about your H being depressed. Until you know he's having an affair, don't assume he's having one. Be carefull though the failing buisness maybe be the catalyst that drives him into MLC. The OW is giving him something your not. My guess is he thinks she listens to him or makes him feel important. You can do the same thing. When he talks don't try to tell him what to do. Just listen, which is harder than you think.

The S who's 18 is he both of yours or his he from another M? When a child reaches adult hood, sometimes this can trigger an MLC. This is what happened to my sister.

Fixer

[glamgirl]

Thanks Mickey. In a lot of ways isn't the damage already done? I have to admit I really enjoyed the sex with H. I really wouldn't mind having a good time. I know that may sound selfish, but Hey I am only human.

[Mickey]

sex for sex is one thing and that is between 2 consenting adults...but if it's done with the intentions of messing with someone's head...that is a different matter. Good luck.

[glamgirl]

Fixer I think you are dead on. Thanks for saying about assuming. H has repeatedly said this to me. It might just be an EA with OW. H has told me over and over quit telling me what to do.

Well yes If you would just stop making stupid decisions, then I wouldn't have to tell you what to do. There was some really questionable business decisions being made before the business went under like missing money etc.

You are right fixer H didn't feel important from me. I saw the business failing and I knew it was going to go down the way it did, but H wouldn't listen to me. He didn't want my advice and still doesn't. He even mentioned this week he wanted everyone to STOP telling him what to do.

H was not stable before he lost the business. I think he was going into depression then. We fought all the time about the business and then the porn sites, everything just went to hell in a hand basket.

It just got worse from there. He filed a restraining order against me etc etc etc. Now as you can see we are on a way different playing field from a year ago.