Thanks for checking in.. It has kinda been a low key week. Just kinda numb and trying to figure out what way to go. I left you message on your thread a bout some CDS. They are real mind searching which I think we need after we have been put through all this.
I am kinda on hold with my life for a while. H calls and is very pleasant but he has finally got his way. He can leave now this fall and go on. He tells me she isn't really what he wants ans she won't be a long term thing. Isn't she in for a surprise.. It would be nice to be held and appreciated like a wife should sometime.
Well I headed to a friends going away party for their daughter. It will be fun but you are always the one with out someone there. They are good about it and always invite me. Which I appreciate it. It would be nice to have someone who would like to go to things with you.
Penny, I hope the party went okay. I know you how feel about being the third wheel so to speak. I went to the horse races in Feb. with a few couples. I was happy to be included, but felt very sad at the same time being the one without someone. I've been invited to a 4th of July cookout. I will probably be the only one without someone. I don't have any single friends, I guess I need to work on that.
I've been trying to get ahold of a lawyer for two days that my cousin who is an attorney recommended to me. Everytime I call she is with a client and hasn't returned my call yet. I will try again tomorrow. This is not what I want, but I have no choice and now must look out for my future as well as my girls.
Thanks for the CD Recommendations. Hang in there we are going to make it. I can't believe that you, Matilda, and I are going through the same thing right now. I'm here for you both.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Just wanted to check in and give you some more hugs. I'm thinking about you and glad that you are hanging in there.
You know, it may be that now that he feels like he has "gotten his way" so to speak that he may not WANT his way for long. If he was looking at this as a challenge for him and now the challenge is gone... you just never know. He just may pull his head out and realize what he is giving up. If that happens and whether you choose to let him back into your life will be up to you, but it's very possible that he might still come around. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to keep your head held high knowing that you have done so much and have been through so much to save your marriage. Yes, you deserve to be loved and cherished, my dear friend, and I have no doubt that you will have that again, whether it's with your H or not. Remember what a wonderful, kind, caring person, wife, and mother that you are.
You know, just a thought, but if you are at all interested in still reconciling with him, you might consider trying what I did as far as not talking about the R or OW at all and just being flirtatious towards him and outgoing and having a care-free attitude around him. Maybe take a day trip or weekend trip when your work frees up a bit and don't communicate with him at all while you're gone, if that's possible with your business, and let him know that you're going away to think about some things. Leave it at that, and then go dark while you're gone. I have no doubt that when I went to Vegas and went dark that H took notice and that that was a big turning point for us. Just something to think about. It tore my heart out to pretend like I didn't care when he didn't come home at night and to just be perky and happy the next day when I talked to him. It absolutely killed me inside, but somehow he is finding his way back to us. Whether it's because of what I did or whether it's because things fizzled out on their own with OW, who knows, but you might thinking about giving it a shot or some form of it when and if you want to try any further.
I'm thinking about you, sweet lady. You hang in there and hold your head high. You are a wonderful person with a huge heart. Be proud of that.
I've been really busy getting all of the rest of the work done. I finally have all of it done so I have to catch up at the house and yard and all that.
I am really having a down day today. Just weird how emotions all of a sudden take over. This has been going on for ever. I guess its just to much. Mat, I have been really busy but today I just feel so alone. I wish I just felt like someone cared about me and loved me for me.
You an d yoyo are already ahead of me in the fact you are filing but I can't because of the twisted financial reasons that would be stupid. It is just emotional that I an having a hard time with. He has some one to lean on. I keep thinking what Have I done to have life send such a curve to me.
I guess this is one of those downer days. I am usually the one that helps everyone and hides my stuff.
Just weird how emotions all of a sudden take over.
Just know you are NOT alone with the emotional roller coaster, Penny! Just the other day I cried when I picked up a bar of soap! (H travels and brings us back the little soap from the motel rooms so I thought of one more change--buying my own soap! I know I can afford that, but I still cried! ) One minute I'm fine; the next minute I am a basket case.
Do you have one good friend to talk to? I haven't told many people, but the ones I chose to tell are supportive of me. No one is "H bashing"....they are just helping me feel strong.
(H travels and brings us back the little soap from the motel rooms so I thought of one more change--buying my own soap! I know I can afford that, but I still cried! 
) One minute I'm fine; the next minute I am a basket case.