Well everyone~ Thank you so much for all your help today. It has made a huge difference. MY PMA is at rock bottom so I do need to work on that. I feel so blah.
H is for sure coming this weekend. When he spoke to me he said I was acting like I used to. ( he meant pre bomb but did not say it ) And it brings him down he needs for me to be Happy and Vibrant to help him feel like what he is doing is right. So I need to let go and focus on me and keep my PMA up like I had been. I think after a good nite's sleep , I can act as if tommorrow and like Jen told me just act Happy. I thought I was trying but trying always shows thru on me. I need to keep being me , being sad will not change what happened. He has to live with himself. I do not have to own this. I WILL learn how to do this. Little by little.
I love him but dont have to love his behavior. Sorry guys just rambling again, but it does help me so much. I feel like I did when we were seperated , like I am learning something new all over again. God bless....
