My H informed me a bit ago he wil be coming home tomorrow.
I dunno if I am ready to act as if all over again?

He suddenly talked to his Boss here today. He says I should sound more excited that he is coming home.

MY response:
M: How wonderful.

* last week I would have said " awesome baby are you serious?"

H: YEAH,,, I am pretty excited about it and .........
..............


He tried to rope me in and I did not fall for it. I stayed calm and stood up for myself. He brought the conversation this morning up. And that I was making him have Anxiety.

Unacceptable behavior* I needed to set boundary.

I firmly and calmy stated .
" You know what when I have anxiety it is not your fault. And I do not blame you. It is b/c I allow myself to feel that way likewise with you. You are blowing up and I have not raised my voice once. What happened this morning was Unacceptable. I had nothing to do with it. I simply was telling you what happened and if you knew her, I was not asking for you to fix it , change it or make it go away. It was not ok and it was rude and it cant be taken back. It just wasnt right. And I did not raise my voice to then either. It seems you can have opinions and I validate them and when I have one or want to say something you do not want to even hear it. Much less ever validate it."
H: Silence
M: I am not trying to argue with you it is you who always starts.
and for some reason you dont see it.

Maybe I should not have said a word but he was going on and on and on.

PMA is rock bottom and I sound like the teacher in the Charlie Brown Cartoon. YUCK~

He also told me I am starting to act like I used to. ( he did not say like before the bomb but I knew that is what he meant)
And to be honest I am.... I am in a funk and I am not thinking about it anymore. I just feel mentally exhausted. He said he needs for me to be Happy and Vibrant not sad so he feels like what he is doing is right.
Off to Starbucks.... just for me.
God bless...