I had a chat with my H's 18 yr old OW. (He told me 20)
He did not introduce her to any family and she knew little about his family. She knew little about me too. She told me all he told her was that I was a teacher and would accuse him of stuff. SHe wenmt on about how her teachers in school always helped her a lot and she has a lot of respect for teachers.
She also had an alcoholic father like my H and she drinks. He claimed she does not drink much but from Text messages I have seen that is not true.
I noticed he talked to her like she is a man and uses a lot of profanity with her. He does not do that to me.
She claims to have tried breaking it off numerous times as does he. I am not sure what is going now as she is returning home to California if she is not alreay back home.
She also told me about seeing her uncles have lovers growing up and how everyone makes the OW feel really really bad. So I am not sure why she did it. She claims she did not know he was married, but she is lieing I told her myself on the phone before anything really started. She claims she thought it was a joke. But everyone knows he is married since he works with some of my former students.
It was a weird discussion. She told me about her dsd doing mean things to her mom. She does not trust anyone, just like my H. She does trust her mom. My H does not even talk to his mom really. She told me that she thinks he is never sober that even at work he is buzzing from the night before (hois drinking has gotten worse) and that he lives in a fog. SHe said a lot of what she has said to him she does not think he remembers since he is always drunk. Very true assessment actually.
My H and his friend told me she had a bad attitude problem and curses a lot. I told her this is why I did not really want to talk with her. She told me its true but this is important so she would not act like that with me. She didn't either she was polite. She kept saying hopefully once she is back home my H will decide to work things out with me. She also mentioned all the classic stuff he tried to feed her and she did not believe anything from him and did not trust him.
Well, my H sort of left with his work clothes but I am 99% certain he lives with his friend due to comments he makes when he comes by. and the scars from "play fighting."
I have learned from reading about affairs and seeing the ones here that a large majority operate on pity.
I also think they "affair down" and that they find people similar to themselves. My H has changed quite a bit during these past months. He uses way more slang than ever. even the way he texts has changed. He used to be a big one on grammar, now though he types weird and replaces all "c" with "k."
But even then he does not talk down to me or curse to me. But her . . . . that is another story.
