I am sure it hurts to see him doing things for her that he did not do for you. But, what hurts is that he did not do them for you and you accepted that. That is the hurt to work on healing, your own hurt about what he did to you. And, that is the hurt to heal by yourself. It is no longer something for you to work through together and will not be unless he decides to work on the M. And, it has nothing to do with OW. His behavior with OW simply reminds you of hurts you buried or tried to bury.
So, again, quit worrying about the R between WAH and OW.
Indeed, quit calling her OW. It seems as though H has made very clear to you that he has exited the M. That means you are no longer W, so she is not OW. She is the single W in his life as a romantic P right now. Call her his GF. It will be better for you. She remains OW only as long as you feel are, and are entitled to be, the W in WAHs life. You are not in his life as a romantic partner and love is not about entitlement.
I love this.
Nicola, I know how you feel lovey. And I wish I could take the hurt away.
I can't say I have let go to this point stated above, but I am starting to get there.
“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.”
