Bombs keep dropping - not meant to be??

[Jen_Jam]

Ooooo-kay.... IP, I want you to breathe ... in for 4 counts, out for 4 counts... breathe deeply.

i can understand 100% being angry - heck! **I** am angry with your H and I don't even know him!!!

But this is getting you nowhere, it's persuit and it's pushing. You said it yourself - you are scared and in panic mode - when in these states it's best to take no action. You need to do what you need to calm down first.

OK, it's a downer. it's not the end though - I went through a few of these bumps before I got "there" and as Rob1231 said to me I shouldn't make the mistake of thinking one downer is the end of it all. This letter has stirred up a hornets nest, but your H probably feels blamed right now, that he cannot do or say anything right. Not ideal, but no-one ever got anywhere with arguing over who was right or wrong.

So - time out. It's the weekend, I would suggest a 180 from recent actions, a backing off, a cooling off time. This is going to be hard on you, yes but it's time for Patience to step in again. Your H has issues he needs to deal with (conflict avoidence being a biggie) but obviously he's not ready to deal with those right now. It looks like you've backslid - but backsliding isn't failure. Stopping trying is failure. So superhuman effort to back off is required here, methinks.

I'm about tonight if you need me - please please please email me on [e-mail] and I'll mail you back my mobile. I have loads of free minutes, I can call you back. Offer is there if you want it, if you need to be talked off the panic ledge. I'l check my email in about an hour, then again in the morning. I'll be out and about Sat morning and able to talk, after that in Brighton for the day, and free again Sunday. Only if you want to of course, otherwise post here and I'll respond.

Take care of yourself - you CAN get through thsi backslide, I KNOW you can and it will be soooooo worth it.