When my husband cheated on me with his girlfriend (a year before we got married)...the same one who didn't stop calling even after we had gotten married, I was devastated.
He didn't tell me until we had been married a year, because he knew I wouldn't have married him if I had known.
In my desparation to end the pain, I searched for ways to make him pay. The problem was, no matter what I suggested, it was never enough.
I started DBing after he and I separated. And to stop myself from going crazy thinking that he'd call her while we were separated, (even though it's been 4 or 5 years since she's harrassed us,) I did the stop sign technique. It got to the point where I was able to let it go.
I think the fact that I wasn't able to let it go for so long is part of the reason why we are separated today.
You are still raw. You want the pain to go away. She probably just wants to forget about the whole thing.
The thing that helped me the most was to not dwell on it.
Just a big can of worms.
Keep your goals in mind.
I've heard several times that we will most likely never ever get an apology from our Spouse. That they acted the best way they could in the circumstances. They were blinded by the hurting and tried to get the pain to go away. Unfortunately, they caused more hurt.
What are you doing when the pain of the affair isn't so raw?
Just throwing stuff out there...I hope something I said helps!
