Thanks Abby and PNT. Well, I was rather blunt last night with my W. My conversation with her fits in fairly well with your comments/questions...
Quoting Abby:Sorry you are hitting a rough patch. Do you really feel you love her less b/c of the A or is it that you have lost some trust and security that is attached to the love?
Abby, yes, I think I do love her less, and she has to earn it back. I've worked very hard for about 1.5 years (not as long as some). Maybe, because of ignorance, I wasn't working on the "right" things, but nonetheless, the effort was there. That's why I'm tired. Tired of worrying about what she's thinking. Tired about having to "act as if" all the time...even when I'm feeling like crap. Tired of feeling guarded and not "saying too much." Tired of psychoanalyzing every aspect of our conversations.
Quoting Abby:Taking a break doesnt mean being the old you. It just means you arent focusing on the R and the M for a while.
Your W is still there and is working too. Huge plus. Everything takes time. It took you time to get in the mess and it will take time to work your way out of it. Patience.
I agree, Abby, and I know I have to have patience. Thing is, I've been on this road for a while...
Quoting PNT:I have a sneaking suspicion that DBing is a way of life. I can imagine, in the future, if I'm feeling insecure and I ask my husband how he's feeling, that even if he's feeling good, he'll feel pressure from my question.
PNT, I agree that DBing is a way of life; however, when we've gone though this junk it is simply understandable that we would be insecure when our Ses come back. Heck, they are! I think, over time, the insecurity will diminish, but nonetheless, when making a fresh start after going through all of this junk, I think it's reasonable to expect some reassurances.
This is a good segway to my next post... Thanks ladies!
