Wow. Yesterday was graduation for my students. H took time off of work to come to it and take pictures. I loved that he did that and told him that a few times. After that I went to a baby shower for a girl at work, and I ended up going out for the evening with several of them.
I called H and asked if he minded, and he said of course not, go have fun. So, I did. Went out for drinks and got my nose pierced (I'd told H there was a chance I would, made sure he wouldn't find it repulsive.). I've wanted to do that for YEARS!
Anyway, I got home, I was feeling good about H, feeling the "love" so to speak, so I woke him up and made him a very happy boy.
We wake up this morning, he sees the nose ring and says, "Oh! That's kind of cool. Nothing like I expected." And then I found out how he spent his evening....
Friends of ours who have been married for 18 years and have a very young daughter are splitting up. Apparantly, the woman has been having an A, came hold and told our friend, and left him. He's destroyed.
H said he had a really hard time last night, said he would never have expected it to happen to them. I think it opened his eyes to what happened on his part last summer and about what could have happened with me. He was just white. We just hugged each other, and it's helped put a lot of things into perspective for me.
Like, I need to let last summer go. Not forget, but not continue living it. It's not getting me closer to my goal, which is a close, loving R with my husband.
So I will stop being a brat, stop thinking H owes me restitution for my hard work last year. I will do what I know is right to do, I will tell H what I need from him, I will not shut down and become the WAS.
As for our friend, I asked H if he'd mind if I emailed him and suggested a support site for him, AKA DB. H knows I have a site I post on, but no specifics. I asked him to respect my privacy here if his friend happened to mention it. He agreed, and I choose to believe him.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
