Theoden is right. You said something earlier about being on medication. Are you still on medication, or are you perhaps going through withdrawal from the medication?
Are you talking to your H about your feelings at all? He should know how you are feeling, and he should be trying to comfort and reassure you. If you are hiding all this, you need to stop doing that. You are having destructive thoughts. You need to focus on doing constructive things.
There are many physical exercise classes you could take if Karate is not for you. Ballet or another form of dance is good, and it gives you music to listen to while you focus on the physical. In America, pilates is very popular. The benefit is that your body starts looking better in addition to the rest from obsessive thoughts in your mind.
How can leaving help? The problem at this point is in your mind, and you take that everywhere you go! No, you must stay and build your life where you are.
