Why is the ow so controlling?

[wbfnm]

Hi Nicola,
saw your thread and I was curious... I'm jumoing right in and haven't even tread all the other posts to the thread yet so sorry if I write more of the same...

I know that when my H picks up or drops off the kids alone, he is relaxed and likes to chat. But when she is with him, or he is going to see her, he is off like a rocket!

He might feel uncomfortable when she is around aswell because his two worlds are coming together and it's very confusing... They have lived lies for such a long time when it comes together he's stressed.

Yesterday, as he literally ran to his car, I said, "D--- sure has you on a short leash!" He just laughed.

I wouldn't critisize OW anymore. It will cause him to defend her even in his mind. Become the sweet, uncontrolling non critical woman she will become a huge contrast in a negative way

The strange thing is that when he left, he said he was tired of the responsiblities of a husband and father, and wanted to be free! I NEVER put restrictions on him b/c I trusted him completely.

I heard literally the same thing. today i was thinking about this since DH made a comment on it in a nasty email several days before. I never asked him what time he would be home, where he was, i let him go on holidays with his male friends never asked were they were going etc.
I feel it's more about MLC. You know the responisbilities as husband and father. BUT in connection with this I feel it also had a lot to do with the way I interactedwith him. i thought i gave him good solid advice on matters, reasoned with him and tried to control it so he would do things my way. Of course this gives a huge confinement so lack of freedom. (hey I answered my own question LOL will copy it to my post ... i'm on a roll here it's the second time today actually )

Are these ow just really jealous? Why do the men put up with it? None of the women are that great, from what I read/see. How is it that they have so much power over the MLCers?

In my opinion they are really insecure. Why would you steal a husband from their family? They have a family so there must be something good about him because he's married. also they feel they don't deserve a man of their own, scared they can't find a good one?? Anyway lot's of insecurities there...

I read somewhere in the MLC archives that men in MLC are looking for a new mother figure. They kicked you out as a mothe figure so now a new one. who can cater to all their insecurities. mine has no responsibilities at all. She handles all the finances and arranges everything. She manipulates him emotionally by agreeing on everything he says and he doesn't even notice. Like a mommy - no worries at all. (oh the bad bad world, you're such a good man and THEY did you wrong) Like a triangle. He's the victim, she is the rescuer and you are the...bad girl...