Great observations Suited. I have always struggled with insecurities and it was a contributor to some of my marriage issues. The ex probably wasn't aware of them because I compensated for it in ways that made me a lump on a log in her eyes.
During our weekend visit, the ex was sharing how disappointing it was that she wouldn't be able to have our son for a week over the summer. June and July are off limits for vacations because of her work requirements. I suggested that she take the first week of August off and spend the time with our son at my home. This would allow her to attend school orientation and meet his next teacher. The other days could be spent doing whatever they desired....either staying active around here or taking a few days to go someplace else. She liked the idea and emailed me Monday confirming that she requested that time off and it was approved.
I emailed back that perhaps the first weekend of her stay could be "our" weekend trip. She replied that sounded good. I ask if she had any particular interests or ideas and if not, I would make the selection and surprise her. I ended by sharing something about our son. Her reply ignored the trip question altogether and shifted to our son.
The ex called me tonight to say that she had completely forgotten about a wedding shower that she had agreed to host at her home on that particular Saturday. She apologized and said she wouldn't be able to make the drive until that Sunday. I assured her that was fine and that other weekends would be available. I suggested that I could get a sitter that evening or arrange a sleepover for our son and we could go out for dinner. Her voice sounded cheery when she said, "yes lets do that."
My cautious optimism comes from the two times she has mentioned putting the family together but never acted on it. Each time she would say after further review, the play stands as called in the court.
As for the photo, big smiles all around in the photos with our son taken immediately before. Perhaps requesting our photo to be taken together caught her by surprise and created some discomfort. It's obvious she isn't ready for even the slightest bit of affection at this point. That is the hardest part because my mind has the car battery and jumper cables hooked up to those toys you mentioned. :-)
