So do I. One thing I came away from last night deciding is that I have to have a strategy for when I know I'll be downward spiraling. I went to see my c today, and she agreed. I've decided that when things are beginning to look bad, I need to go for a walk and just try to breathe and focus on the feelings. Once I can focus on the feelings, I can dispell them. Good plan; now to see if I can keep it.
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Just yesterday I looked up the email address of an old college boyfriend. I haven't sent a message but I thought of doing it, just for kicks. I am so bad! For all I know he could be married or in the priesthood. But you never know.
Garrison Keillor has a great Lake Wobegone story about a woman who starts conversing over the internet with an old boyfriend. I listened to it around Valentine's Day when all of this was so fresh, and I just cried. Now, it might be more poignant than sad, I don't know. What you are describing, though, fits his story.
I was cycling now too as I'm feeling better. Like I said b/f, I managed to write a good beginning to my (someday) novel and that as well as talking with a few important people today have helped me to climb out of the dumps.
Hang in there, friend. We will both find our ways to less loneliness and more centering.
