Hey LL and Owen.

Quoting LL:
I only say this since it seems you did/do have a problem with the fact that this need was being filled even during the "bad" times, so then perhaps since that need was being filled why not focus on some other parts of the r for "intimacy" and let the "sex" take a back seat.
Hmmm...you've got a good point, LL. Problem is, this is what I know. I don't know what else to say, as the well has been dry for some time on so many of the other fronts. Yes, it's getting better. Yes, she's showing me more affection, paying more attention to me, etc. I guess what I really want I cannot have--for her to tell me she loves me...give me those verbal sweet-talking messages--so I try and find comfort in other ways because I have no other choice. In other words, she's not prepared to give me X, so I have to ask for Y until things seem better. I DO KNOW that my list will change over time. This is very difficult to explain...

Quoting Floyd:
I think that those little things will take over the sex thing soon, very soon, as long as she starts giving a little bit in the areas that you need it. I honestly think that the only thing that you need right now is reassurance, and I think that if she showed you she was thinking of you, you would feel more comfortable.
You hit it on the head, Owen. But what is "reassurance?" Reassurance that she won't have an A? Reassurance that she's here to work it out? Reassurance that she knows she loves me deep down and will find that love again? I need lots of reassurances, but I'm not getting all of them. I understand, too. The pain is still fresh, she's still unconvinced, she tells me it's day by day... I want more, but can't expect it. So, I'm back to patience, right?

I find that I can understand her feelings better when she's talking about other people in similar circumstances. I told her about Umbrella...since we talk on the phone sometimes. She said, "I empathize with each of them." Well, I guess that's better than her saying, she's all for U's W, but still... Also, remember that guy I called and told about DR when he was having M problems (one of the Karaoke husbands who has a WAW)? My W talked to his W this morning and she's lonely now that she's in her own apartment...and OM does not feel the same way about her as she does about him. So now, she's trying to work it out with her H, but she's on the fence. So, she and my W are having this conversation and I was so glad that my W heard that this gal is unhappy about living alone. So, this gal asked my W how she and I were doing (doesn't know about the A, but knows we're having troubles). My W said she's not going out as much and staying more at home to work on our M. In my opinion, this was a good conversation for both of them. Each was coming from the same WAW scenario, but each did something different--gal isn't happy living alone, and my W is focusing on the M and going out less. The universe works in strange ways. Funny thing, gal doesn't know that I have talked to her H...

Anyway, onward and upward...

jethro