Quoting jethro: it's amazing how we talk on the BB about such severely abnormal behavior as "normal." You know, everyday conversation... I know it's negative, but it's like we've lowered the bar on humanity or something...to accept this behavior and try and make it work with these people.
The nature of this support board is such, that it is commonplace to have these discussion, and when something is commonplace it gives the appearance of being normal But the behavior on an individual level is not normal. We certainly don't expect our spouses to carry on with such behavior as part of their norm.
On the other hand, it appears commonplace for a person to experience a period of self doubt during their lifetime which can cause a person to lose themselves. Where a distorted view can lead them to believe that such inappropriate behavior is not so inappropriate. Usually, with the right kind of caring support, the person can find their way back.
Now the question is, should the mistakes a person has made when they lost their way but now is found, continue to devast the remainder of their lives and those that love them? Because they stumble, do we insist the fall flat on their face or reach out a hand in support? Which will make you feel better? Knowing you can lend the support the less unfortunate need to regain a chance at having a fullfilling life or that you would turn your back on them because it pains you to much that they have fallen? This is why forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, because in the end you have to answer, "Which kind of person do I want to be?"
Please don't take offense as I not trying to take a direct line of questioning at you jethro, but as rhetorical questions we each need to reflect on.
