First of all I have to express my appreciation for your insight and support on my thread. The BB is the only place to find people who know exactly how I feel and what I am going through. Th empathy I get is a tremendous help.
Second, I want to apologize for not dropping by here sooner. I have to limit my time on the BB, and I don't get around to friends as much as I would like. I just spent a few minutes reading over this thread and your previous one, and I am impressed by your progress.
You have found out about your W's affair, dealt with it, and are now moving past it. Very commendable. I think your wife is saying and doing all the right things now. I agree with Floyd, her admitting that the A was just a distraction from her own personal problems is huge on her part. We hear all the time that an OP is just a symptom of marital problems, and here your wife realizes that and acknowledges it. A very big and important step.
I applaud your insistence that W end it with OM while you listen in. She knows that you mean business, and expect nothing less than complete faithfulness. I think she respects you for that, whether she admits it or not. Like the others who have posted here, I agree that you need to continue to put it behind you. Looks like you are doing a good job of it.
Keep focusing on the positives. You know the drill. There will be bad days, but you should be okay as long as you remember your DB skills. Hang in there, Jethro...good things to come.
