I'm 33, my W is 32, S 9, and D 4. We've been M 10 years, but were highschool sweethearts (had a 1-year breakup during college times). So, basically, we've known each other a long time, a lot of water under the bridge, etc.
1st bomb occurred 10/01 and second bomb on 10/02. The 1st bomb was the "I love you, but not in love" talk where she told me that she's been unhappy for a long time--unhappy with our M, unhappy with being a mother, regrets that she didn't do all those things she should have when she was younger. We got M too young, had kids too young, need a separation...we all know the drill.
2nd bomb was 10/02. Pretty much the same conversation, but she concentrated more on the M being a failure than the children so much. She was more determined to S this time. The idea was to see if her feelings would change...the same sentiment as the first bomb. After an absolutely brutal weekend of me getting ticked off, getting sad, etc., and her finally talking to her parents, she decided to stick it out a little longer and not S. It was after this second incident I found DR.
3rd bomb was on 12/28/02. Found out that my W had an A--from 12/01-9/02 (EA "kind of" continued until I found out). I suspected for some time (and explains much of her behavior), but it still hit me hard. But after this bomb my W has said that she is back to work on our M, and is acting more like her old self (kind of...still a WAS). However, one day she thinks things will work out and next day, she has HUGE doubts--hence the name of my thread.
After the last bomb my W said she wanted to work on the M. And I have to hand it to her, she's really trying. Problem is, she still does not feel "in love" with me, but I'm hoping that over time she will. The first few weeks after I found out about the A have been choppy, to say the least. But now I feel like I've got my head a bit better and my W seems less prone to alien episodes.
So, now she's back, mentally, and we're working to repair the hurts of the past and move onward. My last thread is Vacillations of a WAW Come Home.
I had a good couple of days, which I'm going to post about next...
