I talked to the W again today. Some good things and bad things came out of the conversation.
Good stuff: She is going to visit a lawyer, but she cannot afford to get a D right now. I have time. She told me what she thinks my problem is, Sexual Addiction. I looked it up, and I do have three of the seven symptoms. Actual sex not being one of them. I have agreed to get counseling and am currently waiting on a call from a T. I told her about my fear of being able to be honest with her because she would leave me. She had nothing to say but she did listen.
Bad stuff: She is going to visit a lawyer. That means she is serious about leaving me. Even with me getting counseling, she is not committed to staying. She told her mom she just can't take it anymore.
She asked me if I was getting the counseling for her. I told her I was getting it for me and US. She said you shouldn't be getting it for us because there may not be an us. I said I was still going to get it for me and us. I asked her just to give me a chance to be honest with her about any and everything without the threat of her leaving. I felt that I have never had that. Every time we had an argument, she has threaten to leave me. That's why I just keep the peace and don't say anything.
I said now that we have a new counselor that is getting to the problem and giving us goals, we have a chance. We have never had that. We were each given what our problem was in the marriage this time. Hers is communication, mine is trust. Solution based therapy was going to have us on the road to recovery. We had one setback and she is ready to quit again. I don't see it as fair. I guess what I see doesn't matter right now.
She left with the kids to go over to her mother's house. She said she would be back sometime tonight. I think I am done talking to her about things. I believe I have said all I can say. Hopefully she will say she will continue with the counseling.
