AC wrote: "Yes, we have talked about this. Processed it. Whatever. I fully accept my (significant) part in it. However, my problem has been that all the time, I've been looking hard for something concrete to hang her EA on. I've been asking myself what one *single* thing did I do that was so awful that she had to go and do it. She's not been able to give me that answer, because there WASN'T *one* thing that I did"
The answer to your query is that you didn't do anything to cause her to make a bad choice. She did that all by herself.
Which brings me to my question. Does your wife 100% completely OWN that she and she alone made her bad choice, and that no one forced or coerced her into making said choice, including any existing situational contributers to the state of the relationship?
If not, then she needs some serious work.
Bad relationships happen. Bad choices are just that. Choices. No one held a gun to her head and told her to have an affair, even then, she would have a choice.
I can tell you with good certainty, that she is NOT being honest with you about how she feels - even now.
Please don't assume responsibility for her actions. Obviously you have done that in the past. I strongly encourage you to refrain from doing it again. You are responsible for your half of the relationship, but that is all.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
