welcome to the world of piecing, another hard road in which you are waiting for the "other" shoe to drop and think your H will never forget her. Remember, the fact he had an A was in an attempt to quell the hurt he hurt by thinking the M was falling appart, he was trying to put a band aid. He didnt' choose her because she was superior in any ways to you or she was this and that, but because she was just available and he needed a crutch. So stop the negative thinking. I know it is hard to get over that, and it took me a few months to stop feeling the punch in the gut feelign everytime I thought about my H's A, but it happened. I still think of his deception and all the hard work he put into moving away secretly and the stuff he did in the past.
But, focusing on the bad past and the bad "what ifs" leave you with no space for the good stuff. Fight hard to replace the bad thoughts with the new good memories you two are forming.
Trust has been shuttered and only his commitment and time will build it back up, very slowly. It has been a year since my H came back, and only now I can say I trust him, not 100% but I trust him. It took hard work to stop snooping and checking his stuff (inmature stuff) but I did it.
I highlly recommend you read "Healing the hurt in your Marriage" It will show you how to piece, how to deal with forgiveness and past hurts.
Hang in there!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
