AC wrote :It's especially difficult because the *only* issue we have right now is sex. Everything else is really good right now, however I don't think it will be long before that big old elephant in the room tramples all over the nice stuff."
People often write here that "everything is good except the sex". If everything else were good, then the sex would be also.
The fact is, the relationship is broken if you can't express a need and it get factored into the larger framework of the relationship.
Everything is NOT good. Maybe your wife's needs are being met in the relationship, but yours aren't.
My opinion is that the two of you haven't completely worked through the affair yet. The proof is in the lack of intimacy. In other places, I see this dynamic at work fairly often. The wayward spouse doesn't fully recommit to the relationship after an affair, as their feelings for the other person are still in play. That is part of the reason that no contact must be maintained if the relationship is to have a chance.
You and your wife, and a GOOD marriage counselor that really understands affairs and their affect on marriage, need to get together and explore what's going on.
I don't think you are getting complete honesty from your wife about how she feels. She is likely concerned that you would walk if you knew, and that is a legitimate concern, but you have a right to know what you are actually competing with.
You can choose if you want to wait on her head to clear or not, but it should be your choice, not her choosing for you.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
