W mentioned older son saw her truck parked outside of C. He asked her what she was doing there. W got defensive, didn't tell him the real reason she was parked there. I told her, that he knows what's going on, why weren't you just honest?
Yesterday I got the sense that W was talking to OM at work. I don't know why, maybe because when I left a message for her at work, that she did not call me back. Not even when she arrived home before me.
Having an R talk with W is not going well, at least I don't think so. I tried again last night W did not seem into it. I think things seem relatively stable, so a good time to talk, one would think. That adds to the feeling of mine that she is talking to OM.
This is a big no-no for me, as it was/is of course a precondition to me not getting an immediate D. Alas I actually feel sorry for her.
GAL front is going pretty well. I am feeling positive about myself. I am thinking about what it would be like on my own. I am trying to play out all the facets in my mind. I know I would miss the companionship (duh) but I think to myself, what kind of companionship was that, really? Over the past three years it was a deceptive one, wasn't it?
I made a postives/negatives list about myself, as I see it, and tried to incorporate some of the things W commented on. Through counseling, I am determined to try and work on these, especially my shyness, and other inherited personality traits which I don't like.
