Getting started

[waw1978]

I am very clear about my needs. I need time and space to get over my resentment & anger in order to heal and move on. I didn't want full blown separation but that seems to be where he is headed with this. All or nothing type of approach. I spoke with my Dad about moving into a duplex of his that is vacant. Hopefully by July 1st I will be completely moved out. Maybe DH will see that I am serious about this and not bluffing. I need my space but stil want to go to MC and work the R and get to a point where I want to see him, date him, and love him wholeheartedly again. It took a lot for me to finally just say this is it and make take this step. I have always been too afraid of hurting him, my daughter and making the wrong choice. I have been so unhappy for so long, I refuse to continue this way.

All he is doing is driving me further away and pissing me off with the ultimatums and time limits. Its not my fault I told him for years that I was unhappy and wanted MC and NOW he finally does too. I am still agreeable but I need to see changes in him not just empty talk and threats. I keep telling him we didn't get here overnight and things are not going to magically be wonderful again with a few talks & threats. I have already checked out of this marriage emotionally. We need to start from scratch. All thats left for me is bitterness and frustration.

He is the suspicious/jealous type and has been accusing/insinuating of all sorts of unfounded things for years. He knows this is a major part of the reason I am unhappy with him. I could care less if he thinks I am having an affair. I have no sympathy for this unfounded BS anymore. For years I would reassure him and show him that was not the case. I even gave up friendships with men that I had known all my life because DH did not approve. I have bent over backwards and I am done proving that I am innocent of wrongdoing. I am not having an affair and have no plans to do any such thing. Once I move out and there is still no boyfriend in sight he will realize this.

We have discussed books but he does not read and isn't interested in exploring those options (yet). I am hoping the MC suggests this as well maybe DH will be more willing to participate.