Unconditional love Ian. That is what I wrote in my letter and this what I will deliver. Together or apart. If she continues with OM (which I get the feeling she is), I will just need to accept that. Just as she will need to accept me moving on with someone else. What's done is done. Getting angry and resentful does me NO good.
And you know what Ian...I think rising above all of this and reacting with love instead of anger is a wonderful lesson for my kids.
Do I think she has made some horrible choices? Of course. But I don't need to hold them over her head either. Just as I would hope that she wouldn't hold my past mistakes over my head. I don't see how doing that helps either of us.
Understood, but unconditional love does not mean DOORMAT, or not feeling hurt, anger, and pain.
What unconditional love means is being strong enough to let them go. To let them go and not have to feel the need to "be there for them".
You know what, I wonder about your self esteem sometimes. You post all this stuff, but I wonder wether you are more important to you or she is?
I am not telling you to hate her or resent her, it's not black and white. You can be loving without being there. Supporting bad behavior is not being unconditionally loving. In fact, unconditional love means that you are not afraid to treat her the way she deserves to be treated for her choices.
We will probably not agree on this right now because you are in the middle of it and I am on the outside looking in. I have already told you that I will be here for you no matter what you decide to do. But damn it, I will sure as hell not stand by and not tell you my feelings on it whether you agree with them or not. Do you know why? Becuase I do love you unconditionally.
