I think I do want to pursue whatever this may be with my new/old "friend". She's fun, smart, pretty and makes me feel good. Is it a re-bound? Maybe. Will it lead to anything...maybe, maybe not. But you know what...it makes me feel good right now and I think I deserve that at this point.
Good, because you deserve that. Take some lessons from Speed on how to communicate with this new woman and make sure she understands clearly where your head is at in order to minimize the possibility of hurting her.
I agree with Kev, you don't know if it was worse, ummm hell yeah it was. Infidelity my friend is a sin.
The one thing that I worry about with you Scott is that you take on way to much responsibility for all that has happened. That makes you make statements like this:
Quote:
I hope we can be friends and coparent together.
You can become good coparents together, I have no doubt. Friends though???? Let me ask you flat out, if she continues to date fireman dude and ends up in a commited relationship with him, are you gonna want to be her friend??? Answer this question honestly dude, cause if it were me, ummm fuckk no I wouldn't. Sometime the reality of it all will hit you dude, you will begin to get angry with her and feel all that you should be feeling regarding this infidelity. At that point firendship will probably be out the window.
So many folks on here get confused about this, so here it is in bold for you. you as the LBS have no obligation to be friends with a person who walks away and does not try to fix your marriage. That's the bottom line, I personally refuse to reward my wife's indescretions by being her friend when all is said and done. I will coparent with her, but that is it. I do not have friends that lie and cheat and sin...sorry I have to have some boundaries.
Just understand that while you have thoughts of how and who you want to be, it doe not mean that you have to turn into a saint that can turn the other cheek and continue to get slapped. You are mortal, man, and you have the right to choose to stop being hurt.
Urghhhhh, not for nothing, but one of my other dillema's with thsi whole friend thing is what lesson does it teach our kids? Do you think later on your kids won't know what she did. When they get old enough, they will figure it out. Then they will look and see that you were ok with it because you were willing to befriend her after that.... Not sure that's the lesson your kids need. They may need the lesson of choice, choosing to surround yourself with moral people and have friends that you can trust.
Just some thoughts dude, I'm not trying to harp on you here. I just want you to see that it's ok to not be perfect and think you have to be this all loving, all forgiving person, that's not realistic. It's ok to feel. Truth is if you are going to be friends, it may be many years down the road.
