Ian - I posted my vent a couple of days ago. So I figured I'd own up to my half yesterday. I know you know it. I know she knows it. And I've talked about some of it here on and off...but I don't think I've ever really layed it out like that on here before.
I don't want to point fingers. That gets me nowhere. Was her affair any worse than my yelling? I don't know. Maybe...maybe not. But at this point, it doesn't really matter.
I think I just needed to vent those things as part of my process of moving forward. I don't want to be angry with her and I hope she can let go of some of the anger she has for me. I hope we can be friends and coparent together. I want to accept this reality that is staring me in the face with a smile and the knowledge that I will be ok...or even better.
We talked a bit this morning. It was very light and fun. That is what I want. I want that tension gone. So that is what I will strive to have with her...hopefully she can do the same.
I'll also continue doing what I need to do for me. I will start moving some of my stuff into the new place this weekend. It is mine as of 7/1. We close 7/9. We'll pay off all of our debt. Split what is left and I will be on my way.
I think I do want to pursue whatever this may be with my new/old "friend". She's fun, smart, pretty and makes me feel good. Is it a re-bound? Maybe. Will it lead to anything...maybe, maybe not. But you know what...it makes me feel good right now and I think I deserve that at this point.
