Well, I think I got his way of reassuring me. He actually called me tonight which would be during his lunch hour over there and he usually doesn't go back to his room to do this so I think it was on purpose. I think maybe he sensed my uneasiness this a.m. and wanted to reassure me which makes me feel better about things.
He said that he thought he was getting over the worst of his homesickness, but now realizes he was wrong and it's just getting worse again. I don't like that he's lonely and feeling that way, but I would rather him be homesick and thinking about us rather than just plain lonely and thinking about other things, if you know what I mean.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Ok, I'm feeling better today. Had a self talk w/ myself last evening. Started thinking about the fact that, yes, I am hurting because of H's A's, him wanting a D, the things he said to me that hurt so badly, however, I wasn't innocent in all of this.
He had been hurting for a long time prior to all of this. I'm not excusing his A's in any way. That started long before I ever 'did' anything to 'help' him choose that path, however, my lack of closeness, intimacy, etc. w/ him over the years truly hurt him a lot.
I guess what I'm saying is I need to get over myself and realize I'm not the only 'victim' here. What I need to focus on are the positives. We're NOT getting a D, he's NOT cheating on me anymore and he does love & miss me and the boys.
Onward & upward I say. I won't be able to rebuild my M in any sort of positive fashion if I'm always dwelling on the negatives. I can't work on ME in any positive way if I'm constantly worried and having negative thoughts.
Today will be a good day
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
Ya sound better today. Welcome back. You know they say not to rehash things over and over with our S. It turns the conversation off. They know what they have done. You know what they have done so why bring it up again. Along that line My W shows no emotion what so ever about our stitch. At least to me. I was gone for a week. And just to keep her thinking about me. (Which I should not have done, I should have just gone dark). I hide little surprises around the house. Small things like sun glasses, nail polish, and pink note pad holder. My plan was when she or I called home during that week I would let her know where one of the "gifts" where. Like I said it was just to keep me on her mind in a happy way. After I got back I ask my daughter (23) if mom seamed "bothered" about gifts. She told me that her mom told her that "your dad is probably checking up on me". So with out me telling her she already knows / feels that I don't trust her. The funny thing is that was the last thing on my mind. So like your husband he knows you are uneasy about your sitch. That is probably why he called during his lunch. But...... Then again WE DO NOT KNOW. Keep happy thoughts mark the days until Sept. (isn’t there a song about 'seeing you in September?)
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Do you remember the 21st night of september? Love was changing the minds of pretenders While chasing the clouds away
Our hearts were ringing In the key that our souls were singing. As we danced in the night, Remember how the stars stole the night away
Ba de ya - say do you remember Ba de ya - dancing in september Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day
My thoughts are with you Holding hands with your heart to see you Only blue talk and love, Remember how we knew love was here to stay
Now december found the love that we shared in september. Only blue talk and love, Remember the true love we share today
Ba de ya - say do you remember Ba de ya - dancing in september Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day
Ba de ya - say do you remember Ba de ya - dancing in september Ba de ya - golden dreams were shiny days ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Earth Wind and Fire.... I believe it is called September, I dunno how old you are sweetie but I am 36 and I love this song. Probably not the same song Husband meant but it came to mind and if this doesnt get you "dancing" and excited for your trip ..... Take care sweetie, you have lots of blessings. He loves You now you just need to get it thru to your heart and mind! Love, Ali
I hope you don’t mind but I am cross posting in all of your threads because I value all of your inputs and I want to make sure all of you see this. Please respond back in my thread thanks.
I found a “wife profile” test in the book I have been reading “the five languages of love” It about how different people need different things to feel they are loved. There is 1) touch, 2) words of affection 3) act of service 4) gifts and 5) quality time.
Buy answering these 20 questions it is supposed to reveal what your “love language is. I have not asked my W for ANYTHING for the last 2 months. I was going to print this out and tell my W I am working on my problems and ask her if she would help me and would answer these questions for me. There is no writing involved you just circle a letter.
I’m going to ask her to answer these questions thinking what she would like her perfect husband to do.
What do you think? Again I am sorry for cross threading this but it is important to me that I have all of your inputs. (I a still going out Friday)
husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I am so happy to read this, Have a Fabulous Day.