W...I know but there is'nt any point in letting this go on is there?
I'll just clarify this a little....She did mean, no point in not going forward with the devorce & dragging our heels... I was'nt sure if it came accross that way when I wrote it.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this early on in the thread...2 days after she left, she came here to collect some stuff..We talked & I told her then, that I would not stand in her way of happyness & I would not cause any trouble for her or the OM. I have been true to my word & will continue to do so as I feel a true promise is a very powerful thing.
Again thakyou for taking your time to read & reply...It's bedtime here 11:30 pm...so, gonna hit the sack ZzZzZzZ
Sorry I haven't caught up on your sitch as of late (getting to yours tonight Nom!).
I also sensed a lot of doubt in your W's phone call - read between the lines - there's a lack of urgency on her part here - whether she knows it or not - some part of her brain IS dragging its feet and for what purpose??
She's even kicked the filing part across to you - her reason just isn't valid - I think she just doesn't want the responsibility of the BIG decision and she is NOT 100% sure about it anyway - because surely SHE would have done it herself by now!
I still think you've got to stick to your plan - your calm / friendly demeanour is perfect DBing 101 - please don't lose sight of this.
And don't wory about hindsight - as I've found out - there are ALWAYS opportunities up ahead for anything you thought you SHOULD have said.
Keep fighting the good fight and stick to your plan - I still believe its working behind the scenes. Cheers Scotty
I've done some research on D in the UK, i'll try to explain...
As long as you have been married for at least one year either partner of a marriage can apply for divorce to the court in England. There is only one ground for divorce and that is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. The court will need evidence proving the ground for divorce. The broken down parts to a said breakdown of marriage are ... * Adultery * Unreasonable behaviour * Desertion * Two years separation if both parties agree * Five years separation Now, assuming my W filed, non of the above apply to myself so I would contest the divorce thus making it go on longer than W probably wants to. However, if I was to file then i'm guessing that W will say to file for Adultery to which she would agree & the court would then grant the divorce.
I'm not sure what the phone call was suggesting last night, but I am now thinking that she wants this done as quick as possible. By asking me to file that will be the quickest way as she will have no intension of contesting.
It seems that the time length that a divorce can take, is anything between 6 weeks & 6 months if its all plain sailing & both partners agree fully.
The cost can be verry little as you can apply for a D.I.Y divorce starter pack from the court plus there are various online sites that offer to do all the form work for you. So the D could be quite simple & very quick.
Of course I don't want the D, can my plan remain the same, that is, I will not stand in her way of getting a D ? Not so sure, because if she files for any of the above, I can't agree as non would be true.
It would appear that my word of not standing in her way applys to Two years separation if both parties agree To which I would stand by my word & not fight it when the two years was up. This seems to be something that would buy me quite alot of time & also time to consider if infact I am losing the battle. I have to say that if I was then I would not carry on with this & I would file without hesitation.
Hey strange. Agree completely with Scotty....make her do the filing. Sounds like she did the research herself and wants you to file to those reasons you mentioned.
I speculate she mught know she dont have any leverage on her end, she wants you to file on the grounds of adultery. Plus, like Scotty said, she doesnt want all of this to rest on her shoulders and mind....doubt maybe??
Thought I would tell a little tale today, it's from the view of the walk away, in this case a man. I will not disclose too many details, but you should get the story.
This guy had been living (not married) with this girl for 5 years & has now left, about 2 weeks ago. When he first told me he was thinking of leaving, his reasons were, she has insane jealousy & could not live with it anymore. They stayed in the same house for a while but were sort of seperated, sleeping apart etc. As the days went by he was telling me of how she was trying to get him to change his mind, the normal things that we LBS do, before we wise up. I could see that it was making him more & more determined to leave.
Now, he's left, & is going about his life without much care & seems to be loving his new freedom away from the insane jealousy...That is except for the times when he's talked & then it appears different...He's said on a few occasions that he hopes he's made the right choice...he's told me that he would hate to see his W with another man. He was telling me that she seems to be getting along fine at the moment & was little concerned that she is in fact going out on the town & GAL.
Over the last days or so they have more or less sorted out the final matters of spliting the assets..He told me that he feels a little sad now that is all done with & how it seems so final. I know it's on his mind from how he acts from time to time & he's trying to do things that take his mind off it..GAL.
So, although this is a very very shortend version of his sitch, it just goes to show that the Walk away does not just leave & forget things exist, they too go through some tuff times also.
